Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


How the extensive migration affects the world?



behieli 7 / 17  
Apr 14, 2016   #1
To what extent will migration from the developing world to the developed world become a social and political issue in the 21st century?

The distribution of opportunities is far from even throughout the world. This compels great number of people to leave their hometown to seek a better educational, employment and residential chances. In addition, wars and natural disasters drive many to displace every year. This displacement affects the immigrants' life and the host country as well.

Firstly, immigrants endure hardship to adopt the new rules and establish a whole new life. For some immigration is like performing suicide to reborn in new country; to start from zero. Differences in spoken language could add the problem and hinders them from communication and making bond with host country.

Secondly, the host society faces a dilemma for the opportunities it must share with new population. This can ignite the social anger and cause anti-racial movements. It will take time to educate people of a country to gain tolerance to voluntarily share their opportunities with the guest population.

Nonetheless, the wave of immigrants bring new workforce for the receiver country.
The recent decades witness fierce conflicts in middle easts, which forced a great amount of the population to migrate to Europe. It is told that Germany as the greatest host country will benefit from the educated and trained groups of this population in coming years.

Moreover, the new comers bring diversity and prosper flexibility and tolerance in host country. United States of America, with the greatest level of investment on education system, attracts young population from all around the world who seek enhanced educational facilities. As a consequence, the country is known for its cultural and social diversity, which helps to flourish its economy and education system.

Furthermore, in cases of war or natural disasters all of the countries worldwide have to participate to handle the crisis. As a consequence, the intense pressure would not be on neighbor countries.

In conclusion, immigration is a critical issue with cultural and economical side effects, which can be handled with international participation

tugyts 3 / 3  
Apr 14, 2016   #2
your essay is totally good in terms of content but you should re-organize each paragraph because it seems very complex now :)
justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 15, 2016   #3
Hi Elahe, here's a few additional insights from my side.

- is far from evenreaching throughout
- educational , employment
- addition, the wars and

- Firstly , immigrants
- For some,immigrationmigration is like performing
- suicide to be reborn
- in a new country;
- add to the problem
- them from communicationcommunicating
- and makingcreate a bond
- with the host country.

- for theon this opportunities
- it must share with the new population.

There you have it Elahe, I hope this helps in your revision.
Remember the linking verbs, they complete the sentences and they mean more when they are complete and this will help with the flow of the essay.

I wish to read your revised essay soon.


Home / Writing Feedback / How the extensive migration affects the world?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳