IELTS writing ---to what extent do you agree or disagree? modern or old building ?

Some people think old buildings should be destroyed and replaced with modern buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Regarding whether traditional buildings should replaced by the contemporary buildings brings the negative and positive influence is much concerned to a point where a wide discussion has been aroused. Some people hold that it is necessary that the modern buildings are instead of the old. And to large extent, I am on the opposite side of this claim.

First of all, not all the old houses are necessarily obsolete. In effect, some of them are the symbol of culture and history. The quadrangle dwellings, for example, have been going through the China History and it is such an awesome style that impresses the people around the world. Therefore, the government will not destroy them in order to protect our national art.

In addition to this, a proportion of people are adapted to the old living surroundings and it seems not too easy to change that. If all the traditional buildings drop down, some people will lose their home. For instance, many elder people live in their apartment during their whole life, and they never think about moving out. Apparently, some people only want to live the original place and the new things like the modern buildings do not attract them.

At last, the appearance of the modern buildings has never been equal to the inner value of the traditional buildings. Compared to the old buildings, the modern buildings do have the advantages, such as the function, the quality and the awareness in the environmental protection. Meanwhile, in terms of the macroscopic view, the construction of buildings reflects the flourish in the economy. However, if we live in a city with skyscrapers everywhere and cannot find a tiny culture around, it will be a pity for this city as the people live here are rejecting their civilization and losing the treasure which is the most important thing in the world.

Overall, destroying all the old buildings or replacing them with the modern buildings is not a wise choice.

Looking just at a few sentences here and there, overall, it looks very nice. some notes-


Quite a long sentence. I had to read it a couple times to understand what I think you meant. You don't place your own opinion until the end of that paragraph. This is not a bad practice, but keep it to the point. You don't have to say that this question brings about a discussion over two different influences... that IS what the question does already. Try to shorten.


Not quite sure what to change, but I think deleting that "such" works


Not the best transition, fish for another one (look for another one)

another idea to add- some older buildings have better, sturdier materials that are not made factory style and destroying them would be a waste, as well as a change for cheaper materials that may not last as long

I see that you are already proficient, and you need "fine tuning."

Here is something to help you learn. Think about these three corrections, and then try to write another sentence that is similar to the sentence I am correcting.

Read this again:
Think about these three corrections, and then try to write another sentence that is similar to the sentence I am correcting.

Fine tuning means slowing down and reading everything twice.

Regarding whether traditional buildings should be replaced by...

Some people hold that it is necessary for the modern buildings to be used instead of the old.

However, if we live in a city with skyscrapers everywhere and cannot find a tiny at least a tiny bit of culture around, it will be a pity for this...

You can say, "Keep a little culture," because this is a short way of saying, "Keep a little amount of culture."

Sometimes people say "a little" to mean "a little amount of"...
But do not say
Keep a tiny culture.
Instead, say
Keep a little culture.
or
keep some culture
or
keep a little bit of culture.

:-)