numerous plant and animal species are disappearing
Nowadays, there are many opinions that numerous plant and animal species are disappearing. Some people say that there are more and more the major environmental threat to the world in this modern area. In my opinion, I support viewpoint one because of its serious effect on humanity.
-The over development of industries has caused serious consequences and one of them is natural disasters. Millions of tons of smoke and dust from factories as well as from vehicles released into the air too much have made the air increasingly polluted. As a result, natural disasters such as tsunamis, floods, acid rain, and other similar events are becoming more common, destroy many countries across the world. This has heightened the urgency for the world to address these issues. For instance, in 2004, a 9.2 magnitude earthquake struck the Indian Ocean, creating tsunamis that swept 14 countries and claimed the lives of more than 225,000 people.
-On the other hand, when the population grows rapidly in recent years, then the demand for food will also be more than before. That leads people to hunt more animals and sometimes rare animals just to serve their needs. In a 2007 survey by Responsive Management Inc, Eighty percent of respondents agreed that hunting has a legitimate place in modern society. Therefore, some species of plants and animals have died out from the earth and the amount of food will be increasingly scarce because of the endless hunting of humans.
-In conclusion, despite the fact that natural catastrophes inflict significant human losses, the extinction of animal species is a pressing issue that must be solved since people cannot exist without food.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15460 The discussion for this essay requests that the 2 public opinions be explained based on the theory that the believer of each opinion has prior to the presentation of the personal opionion of the writer. This is a "discuss both points of view and give a personal opinion essay". The basis of the public opinion should be covered within 2 paragraph explanations, one for each point of view, using third person pronouns to clarify the talking points of each representative sector. The essay is not a singular poont of view explanation, which is what the current presentation is based on. The response format is terribly incorrect for this discussion as provided in the original prompt. The expected response format is not provided.
Though the discussion points presented are qualified for the topic, it is the presentation that is a problem. It must be written as:
- Public Opinion 1 + Explanation
- Public opinion 2 + Explanation
- Personal Opinion + Explanation
The response statement in the first paragraph is also incorrect and confusing to the reader as it does not deliver a complete idea based on a the required discussion format: Personal opinion + 1 Reason
There is also no reason for the writer to be starting off each paragraph with the dash punctuation mark rather than the actual text. There is no need for that in this presentation as it is a direct written presentation. The essay also contains heavily researched information regarding situations such as earthquakes, tsunamis, public involvement, among others, all of which run counter to the basis of examples which are personal knowledge and experience, as well as public knowledge.
Overall, the essay does not meet the proper discussion and formatting requirements which would help it achieve a passing score. Since the discussion format is incorrect, the examiner will not be able to properly grade the essay beyond the TA section. The LR, C+C, and GRA considerations cannot be assessed based on the current discussion format.
