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The extinction of particular species of animals and plants lead to the main problem of environment


pro123 1 / 1  
May 15, 2019   #1

TOPIC: environment problem



Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is true that the extinction of particular species of animals and plants lead to the main problem of environment in recent years, while some people think other environment problems are also important. I would agree that there are more environment problems that also important in our time.

On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why the main environment problem of our time is the extinction of some species. Firstly, there are a few animals and plants that take an important part in environment. For instance, some plants make the air fresher such as trees and flowers, while some animals are good for soil such as a worm. Secondly, if some species of animals and plants are disappearing, others might gone too. The reason is many species of plants are the food of other animals, while some of the animals are also made plants live stronger. For example, herbivore animals consume grass or green leaf to live, flower use some of the insects to grown and reproduction.

On the other hand, I believe there are more environment problems are also important too, not just animals and plants. Firstly, climate affect this world, it also impact the environment the most. Some problems such as climate change make governments in many nations spend billions of dollars to handle each year, some particular species are no longer extant because of it. Secondly, human are also must take a responsible for environment in recent years. People released a ton of toxic emissions to environment, it many species and also makes the climate change.

In conclusion, although the loss of particular species of plants and animals are taking a serious impact on envirnment, it seems to me that there are many problems are more important.

Iam really bad at writting and hope people in EssayForum will help me get better. Thank you so much

Maria [Contributor] - / 479 214  
May 15, 2019   #2
@pro123
Watch out for the forms of the words that you use. You had a tendency to misuse certain terminologies. In addition to this, I also suggest that you look over the structure of your sentences because you have a tendency to create overbearing content that have informal qualities. When doing academic writing (especially in English language tests), it is crucial that you keep these in mind as you are writing.

Let's revise a few parts of your essay.

A commonly cited environmental concern is extinction. While this is crucial, I believe that there are other more important issues that need to be tackled. The essay will discuss both perspectives.

[...]


Notice how this formatting is more formal/academic because it does not leave out information hanging. Instead, it attempts to merge altogether the thoughts that you have while still trying to be as concise as possible. In addition, it is also crucial that you keep in mind how to integrate your ideas without dragging the sentence. In terms of length, while this revised version does not necessarily fall under the typical four to six structure, it is still comprised of a thesis statement and a concluding remark that are both important when it comes to creating formal content.

Keep these in mind as you are revising and typing. Best of luck!
OP pro123 1 / 1  
May 15, 2019   #3
thank you @Maria, writting is my weekness skill and i hope i will get better


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