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'factors to get happy and importance of happiness' IELTS Essay


forget00 1 / -  
Jan 15, 2012   #1
1. Happiness is considered very important in our life. Why it is difficult to define? What factors are in achieving happiness?

Successful like usually comprises happiness which is somehow intrinsic and essential. Regarding this, some factors we can achieve exist. However, it is no doubt that happiness make us difficult to define.

Some may clearly say that anyone can succeed in his like without happiness. On the other hand. There is no exaggeration that even though of a lot of money, fame or property person has, he will never be able to refer to himself as who is about to take a step onto successful timeline unless he tend to pursue happiness.

The others would probably want to recognize what factor they can achieve. Most commonly, two significant components are necessitated in fairly better life. First of all, we should take care of family or our relatives(in case of the non-family belonged). Undoubtedly, they belong to us and have a great capability of making life abundant. Second is, living once is controlled by one who does, which we should keep in our mind, must go through enjoying itself. No one seems to ruing his life.

Despite knowing many factors to get happy and importance of happiness, we still fail to define what it is. Because this is a state of mental process. However, on the bright side, all human beings are distinctive from themselves, so it can be assumed that each person has different aspect to what extent he becomes happy. It means that being happy depends on how we realize the reality.

To sum, things including money and fame does not create advanced life but happiness and it is made of a number of factors although it is quite hard to define it. Happiness will come close to us if we call it.

lorichungg - / 1  
Jan 16, 2012   #2
Some may clearly say that anyone can succeed in his like without happiness. On the other hand, there is no exaggeration that even though of a lot of money, fame or property a person has, he will never be able to refer to himself as who is about to take a step onto successful timeline unless he tend to pursue happiness.

The others would probably want to recognize what factor they can achieve. Most commonly, two significant components are necessitated in fairly better life. First of all, we should take care of family or our relatives(in case of the non-family belonged). Undoubtedly, they belong to us and have a great capability of making life abundant. Second is, living once is controlled by one who does, which we should keep in our mind, must go through enjoying itself. No one seems to ruing his life.

I think here, ^ you shouldn't use "one" and "his" at the same time. You should stick to one instead of using both. Like for example the last sentence. Other than that, I think everything else is fine. Can you help me with mine too? Thanks.


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