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IELTS TASK 1 : Factors influence job performance



SHanafi 120 / 357  
Mar 15, 2014   #1
The table reveals evidence regarding 100 workers, grouped by age, which is depended on factors affected work performance.

Overall, all mentioned factors varied markedly. The groups or worker performed prefentially in the some major factors with different proportion while another minor factors show similar proportion of those groups.

Turning to the detail, although 30 and 70 workers, either young and old, choose work environment and team spirit as the factors influenced their performance the youngster marked a rocket performance than older worker when facing four others factors.

Having been presented in the graph, even though 80 youngster workers engaged with promotion prospect and relaxed working environment as the factors effecting work performance, the oldest affected less with these factors by 57 and 38. Standing by contrast, the chance for personal development reaching the top notch factors with almost all youngsters chosen then job insecurity coming the tenth factors chosen by only 24 older workers.

A more detailed look at close in the two contrary proportions, 60 older workers and 58 younger workers attached the competence boss to encourage their performance whereas 45 older and 46 younger workers go for job satisfaction in order to emerge their performance. These show slight contrast in aged workers

Interestingly, eight factors show the gap between groups of workers, while another two factors perform equality.


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JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 15, 2014   #2
too many paragraphs!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 16, 2014   #3
The table reveals evidence regarding 100 workers, grouped by age, which is depended on factors affected work performance.

.... by using the word "evidence" your entire introduction loses its direction :( Do not experiment with words if you are not sure about their usage. Factors and evidence have very different meanings and if you do not get a proper word to replace what you see in the prompt, don't be afraid to use the same word, but present your sentence a bit differently.


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