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IELTS TASK 1 : Factors influence job performance


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 15, 2014   #1
The table reveals evidence regarding 100 workers, grouped by age, which is depended on factors affected work performance.

Overall, all mentioned factors varied markedly. The groups or worker performed prefentially in the some major factors with different proportion while another minor factors show similar proportion of those groups.

Turning to the detail, although 30 and 70 workers, either young and old, choose work environment and team spirit as the factors influenced their performance the youngster marked a rocket performance than older worker when facing four others factors.

Having been presented in the graph, even though 80 youngster workers engaged with promotion prospect and relaxed working environment as the factors effecting work performance, the oldest affected less with these factors by 57 and 38. Standing by contrast, the chance for personal development reaching the top notch factors with almost all youngsters chosen then job insecurity coming the tenth factors chosen by only 24 older workers.

A more detailed look at close in the two contrary proportions, 60 older workers and 58 younger workers attached the competence boss to encourage their performance whereas 45 older and 46 younger workers go for job satisfaction in order to emerge their performance. These show slight contrast in aged workers

Interestingly, eight factors show the gap between groups of workers, while another two factors perform equality.




JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 15, 2014   #2
too many paragraphs!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Mar 16, 2014   #3
The table reveals evidence

The table compares evidence of WHAT ??? regarding...

Overall, all mentioned factors varied markedly. The groups or worker performed prefentially in the some major factors with different proportion while another minor factors show similar proportion of those groups.

I feel this overview is too complicated. I have seen you work with an excellent overview. Why don't you show it here?

either young andor old

a slight contrast

while another two factors

Small stuffs could ruin everything. Pay attention to your basic grammar.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 16, 2014   #4
The table reveals evidence regarding 100 workers, grouped by age, which is depended on factors affected work performance.

.... by using the word "evidence" your entire introduction loses its direction :( Do not experiment with words if you are not sure about their usage. Factors and evidence have very different meanings and if you do not get a proper word to replace what you see in the prompt, don't be afraid to use the same word, but present your sentence a bit differently.
OP SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
May 21, 2014   #5
The bar chart compares the affecting factors on job performance in number of the 2 aged groups.

Overall, all mentioned figures varied markedly while team spirit and work environment shows a similar number between the groups under review.

As per the bar chart, 35 workers aged 18-30 and 45-60 engage with work environment as a factor affecting their job performance. The number doubled in term of team spirit. However, some trends reveal that the younger group affects more than the older. The chance for personal development influences 100 young workers for performing their work. By comparison with the elderly worker, such trend has almost tripled in number. Similarly, the wide gap is seen in the trend for relaxed working environment and promotion prospects. The gap more closer as money factor attracts around 77 workers aged 45-60 and 75 workers aged 18-30 while the similar gap also shows in the money's trend.

On the contrary, by around 50 elderly workers are affect by respect from colleagues, this is slightly increase than that of 45 younger works engaged in. Competent boss also chains the job performance of 56 younger employers and 58 older employers.





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