Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 7


IELTS task 2: farming methods



tranminh97 1 / 1  
Jan 17, 2014   #1
Write about the following topic: In recent years, farming practice has changed to include methods such as factory farming and the use of technology to improve crops. Some people believe these developments are necessary, while others regard them as dangerous and advocate a return to more traditional farming methods. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Agriculture is now changing rapidly. With new methods are being used consisting of factory and technology, productivity is increasing in a remarkable way. Although many people are convinced that these methods are extremely essential to agricultural development , I hold the opinion that they are causing more troubles than conventional methods.

I will start off by looking at some reasons why many people believe such agricultural methods . Firstly, there is no denying that these new ways of farming are less time-consuming and more convenient. For example, back in 10 years earlier, Vietnamese farmers had to do farm work manually. They worked outside in an average of 10 hours a day regardless of sunny or rainy days. However, nowadays, with the help of farming machine, people do not have to spend too much time working outdoors as they can do things faster. Secondly, these new methods can also reduce loss of produce. In other words, thanks to the weather forecast, farmers can choose the perfect timing of harvesting and avoid losing crops because of natural phenomena such as typhoon, drought or flooding.

However, there is growing concern about these development. First and foremost, it sometimes do harm to the environment. Most of farming machines nowadays run on gas and oil. As a result, when these machines are used, they will release lots of carbon dioxide and pollute the atmosphere. Another problem related those new methods is that farmers' health and lives are being threatened. For instance, many machines can be very dangerous for people who do not know how to use them as these kinds of machines always have blades inside them. Farmers often do not read the instructions carefully and are not aware of the danger. This leads to many sad stories which may not happen if people are more careful.

To sum up, the farming industry nowadays are developing quickly thanks to many new methods and techniques. On the other hand, I think that this development also has many disadvantages which may result in bad endings if people do not know how to use new methods effectively. Thus, I suggest that farmers should not depend too much on technology when they have limited knowledge about it and come back to traditional ways of farming instead.

SHE83 2 / 6  
Jan 17, 2014   #2
if you are for the disadvantage of new technology, i think you should elaborate more on it. find better points such as fertilizer being overused can drain into waterbodies near by and kill the habitats in water...etc.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Jan 17, 2014   #3
Hi,

To me, I 've read your writing. Then, I just have some collocation corrected below:

it sometimes do harm

It sometimes means harm

agricultural methods

agricultural implement

do farm

establish farm

concern about these development

concern in the development
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jan 17, 2014   #4
Agriculture is now changing rapidly.

It's not agriculture that changes rapidly (that is not what your prompt means. It is the farming methods that change rapidly due to heavy use of technology. Always stay with your prompt and do not deviate from what it really means.

With new methods are being used consisting of factory and technology, productivity is increasing in a remarkable way.

... grammar not so good :(
The new methods that involve new technologies, help increase production levels significantly.

I hold the opinion that they are causing more troubles than conventional methods.

I hold the view that they cause more troubles than their usefulness to the world.
OP tranminh97 1 / 1  
Jan 18, 2014   #5
Pahan
thanks Pahan !
Arun0506 27 / 119  
Jan 18, 2014   #6
Hi,
I am not good enough to comment on grammatical errors. But I can help you in certain area of your writing.

I will start off by looking at some reasons why many people believe such agricultural methods . Firstly, there is no denying that these new ways of farming are less time-consuming and more convenient

To begin with, people those who argue about adopting the new method of cultivating crops claims that the usage of modern machines and fertilizers have significantly increase the productivity in less consumption of time and effort.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Jan 18, 2014   #7
Have one reason per body paragraph.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: farming methods
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳