I am practicing writing essays in English language. Please help me correct my assignment and comment frankly. Thanks in advance.
TOPIC: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is positive trend, while others do not.
--- Here is my essay---
In recent years, fast food has dramatic changes to our habitual diet and becoming well-known in the world especially in affluent western countries. Some people said that this kind of food has some benefits ,however in this essay, I intend to argue that these food have far more demerits than few advantages it offers.
First, in most of high standard of living countries prefer eating pre-packaged foods such as hamburger, chicken fried or chips rather than eating well-cooked foods. Although I certainly agree that fast food is both affordable and convenient, it contains a number of unhealthy additives like sugar, fat and salt. If people consume this kind of food as the way they add these to the staple diet in daily routine, they would get some serious health problems such as high blood pressure, obesity, depress and so on. In other words, while fast food is beneficial in the short term, its long-term effects are generally negative.
Second, fast food is gradually creeping in daily meals especially in children and a big brand like Ronald McDonalds is the particularly good example. The visual image showing that the way McDonalds clown standing straight and smiling which is appealing young children and also catch their parent attention. Having grown up eating in McDonald restaurants, people are likely to continue eating fast food throughout their adult lives. A number of people in most of western countries are now faced to the risk of obesity and the statics are more increasing significantly.
To conclude, I once again restate my view that fast food is detrimental to both individuals who eat it and to society at large. Authority health needs to increase public awareness about the dangerous effect of consuming to excess and giving the health risks associated with this trend.
TOPIC: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is positive trend, while others do not.
What are your opinion in this?
--- Here is my essay---
In recent years, fast food has dramatic changes to our habitual diet and becoming well-known in the world especially in affluent western countries. Some people said that this kind of food has some benefits ,however in this essay, I intend to argue that these food have far more demerits than few advantages it offers.
First, in most of high standard of living countries prefer eating pre-packaged foods such as hamburger, chicken fried or chips rather than eating well-cooked foods. Although I certainly agree that fast food is both affordable and convenient, it contains a number of unhealthy additives like sugar, fat and salt. If people consume this kind of food as the way they add these to the staple diet in daily routine, they would get some serious health problems such as high blood pressure, obesity, depress and so on. In other words, while fast food is beneficial in the short term, its long-term effects are generally negative.
Second, fast food is gradually creeping in daily meals especially in children and a big brand like Ronald McDonalds is the particularly good example. The visual image showing that the way McDonalds clown standing straight and smiling which is appealing young children and also catch their parent attention. Having grown up eating in McDonald restaurants, people are likely to continue eating fast food throughout their adult lives. A number of people in most of western countries are now faced to the risk of obesity and the statics are more increasing significantly.
To conclude, I once again restate my view that fast food is detrimental to both individuals who eat it and to society at large. Authority health needs to increase public awareness about the dangerous effect of consuming to excess and giving the health risks associated with this trend.