Can financial aid cease poverty?

RICH COUNTRIES OFTEN GIVE MONEY TO POORER COUNTRIES BUT IS DOES NOT SOLVE POVERTY.

THEREFORE, DEVELOPED COUNTRIES SHOULD GIVE OTHER TYPES OF HELP TO POOR COUNTRIES RATHER THAN FINANCIAL AID.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS PROBLEM?

Poverty is one of the most troublesome and problematic issues in this day and age. Therefore, many solutions have been come up, including the act of donating money to the poor from prosperous nations. However, according to numerous individuals, financial aid cannot cease the problem and that developed countries should take a different approach to poverty. Personally, I decidedly agree with this statement owing to several reasons.

First and foremost, despite donating a significant amount of cash to poverty-stricken countries, these places still struggle due to corruption. With no severe laws and reinforcements, numerous dishonest police officers, governors, and other powerful individuals take the money for their own benefits. As a result, the poor will inevitably become poorer whereas the ignorant and dishonest individuals will be better off.

Another reason why financial aid is useless in ceasing impoverishment is owing to improper use and handling of money. Some developing countries invest a substantial amount of money into a diversity of projects with the hope to become wealthier. However, they will be at a high risk of failing and losing all the money if the leaders are unexceptional or ignorant.

Since financial aid cannot solve poverty effectively, several other solutions should be put into use instead. For instance, developed nations should send volunteered educators to impoverished nations to introduce a more effective and efficient mechanism of study. These well-qualified lecturers are able to teach students in poverty-stricken places to handle money properly and to become a better leader.

Moreover, prosperous nations should send their own constructors, engineers, and architects to erect infrastructures instead of letting these tasks under the management of poor nations. The reason is that when rich countries engage in building projects, they are likely to keep corruption and misuse of their money at bay. Furthermore, indigent countries may not have the right techniques or state-of-the-art machinery to manage colossal infrastructure projects.

In conclusion, although financial aid is a speedy and convenient solution, it is, undoubtedly not an ideal way to deal with destitution. Developed countries, therefore, should employ other solutions that are more practical.

You have a great ability for writing, I think you introduced the topic pretty well and your arguments are straight and concise. I can see you changed some words from the first draft you uploaded here and this one looks even better. Nice job!

Kindly remember the time limit for the writing task. You have 40 minutes to discuss, with as little errors as possible. So you have to keep the essay within a proper word count, say 275-290, so that you can have more time to improve the presentation in terms of clarity, cohesiveness, and word usage. These are the errors that I spotted when reviewing your work. You do not need to write 346 words, with errors in them. You need to make sure that you can provide a clear explanation rather than simply just a long essay. The length isn't important, the clarity of your explanation, based on reasoning and logic, are what assure you of a better score.

You need not present a reason for poverty in your paraphrasing. There was no reason given in the original so adding that information, though it seems helpful to you, reduces the accuracy of your restatement. Stick only to the provided information in the rewriting. That way you do not accidentally deviate from the original presentation.

You changed the discussion parameters for the presentation as well. You were only asked to provide an extent of agreement or disagreement with the given topic. Those are the only aspects you will be scored on. So discussing solutions are not necessary in the presentation. As such, the word count that covers the solution discussion will be deducted from the original presentation. That leaves your essay with more or less 211 words. The essay is now under the minimum 250 word count. Meaning, the irrelevant discussion points you worked so hard on writing will actually cause this essay presentation to get a failing score.