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About my first day in america and my longest and happiest day of life


hadia 1 / -  
Oct 6, 2011   #1
My first day in United State of America was the longest and happiest day of my life. America is a dreamland, and piece of Heaven. Many of the immigrants from different countries come to America for freedom, some of them for palgar the other came here for a better life , works more technology

I used to read a lot of books about old day America. I would daydream about cowboys in Texas. I read for hours about how they live in country very sample life in mooring haunting for animal on cave. in evening they cook outside BBQ boreal some animal in moon light I was so happy to get visiting visa with my father, mother to America it was in September, we were very happy we spind the rest day planning or vacations in summer to America

In next day me my dad take trip to travel agent to get an airline ticket at it was in dealmaker 10 we was so existed

In evening when we call our brother how they use to live in use and we till them good news about getting visa we had air line ticket in short pried of time around week we pot all our bags ready we call taxi to get us to Syria international airport was first appearance to travel in airplanes I was worry and confused about my trip we say good bye to my rest of family all of them was in tear I was in mix a motion should I be happy or sad

We give officer our passport and he check our bags for customs give as permit to go to plane it was hudag air plan we came to Houston tx my father in airplane try to let me remember my brothers phones no and address he was worry about me getting lost he knows I now very latte English. The flight took us 21 hours direct flay we arrived to Kandy airport the weather was raining in meet summer was sprez I notes lot of people from all over the would defant language they spike the look deferent we all get in line of emigration officer check our passports ask my dad some question about our vacation we collect our bag we meet our brother in hallways of airport was lot hug kiss they ask us if we want to go with them to eat pizza so we all agarry in our way to restraints I note's defart kind care every body obeys the lows and I like the someal in every one I meet

First tow word I learn in English was hlow and bye bye was easy fun day
I salpt hall night dreaming how I will spind my vacation I ask dad if he bye me car if I pass the driving test he agree after mom convenes him I try to find school to learn English tand I start read lot news paper look for jab

At last I live in America had small family happily married with two wonderful children they are in college today lean and waste my hasped business man thanks gad for every thing and at end Gad plass every one am happy to find about freedam in usa beeing equal woman is equel with man they have seem right its defarnt than what i been reaz in syria man or boy alowess id beattar than woman

Alexxiscensored - / 2  
Oct 7, 2011   #2
My first day in United State of America was the longest and happiest day of my life. America is like a dreamland, and my own piece of Heaven. Many of the immigrants from different countries come to America for freedom, some of them for palgar the other came here for a better life , works more technology??

I used to read a lot of books about old day America. I would daydream about cowboys in Texas. I read for hours about how they lived a simple life in the country side, all while spending their leisure time hunting for animals. very sample life in mooring haunting for animal on cave. In evening they would cook outside a BBQ boreal some animal in the moon light. I was so happy to get visiting with my own visa, with alongside my father and mother to America it was in September,. We were very happy so we spind spent the rest of the day planning or our vacations In for the summer to America.

I would recommend going over the essay review word usage and spelling, since there seems to be errors all around. It's not a bad essay at all, it just needs to be tweeked so that it is more understandable. It needs a sense of unity and should be written in the same tense. Also, maybe reorganize your ideas to make the story flow easier, by adding or taking away what does and doesn't make sense. It can be done, just have to work at it:)
lively 1 / 4  
Oct 9, 2011   #3
Whooo, you have a lot of bad sentences, and you need more quotation marks.
buddybuddy1 1 / 2  
Oct 9, 2011   #4
You need to check spelling. You should also check your grammar usage.
Definietly go over this sentence- agarry in our way to restraints I note's defart kind care every body obeys the lows and I like the someal in every one I meet

First two words I learned in English was hlow and bye bye was easy fun day
I would help you but I do not know what you are trying to say.


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