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Fixed punishments and taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discussion


leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Apr 19, 2012   #1
Please correct it for me !! Thanks

TOPIC: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, think that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when making decision on the punishment.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinions?

One of the most controversial issues today related to punishments for each type of crime. Some people argue that criminal punishments should be fixed whist many others contend that this should be put into a range. In my opinion, both sides hold water.

On the one hand, convincing argument can be made fixed punishment will have a deterring affect to social crimes. First and foremost, people know how much illegal activities exactly threat to their lives if they break the law. For example, accent Greeks had a law that if you steal anything, you will be cut off hands without any reasons or explanations and this made Greeks society became the cleanest place of the world in its period. Another feasible explanation is that number of re-offend prisoners are reduced when they are released. Ex-prisoners will be aware that fixed punishments have no tolerance for crimes.

On the other hand, the statement above is not generally consisted as an accurate one to everybody since there also some people who do not advocate it. As regards their justification, a reason usually claimed by many of them to convince us is that taking the circumstance of a crime for verdict to ensure the justice and equity. Indeed, we cannot deny that every crime must be paid back, but people attacking in self-defense cannot be compared with robbery. The laws have to provide a range for punishment framework and also have certain cases of exemption.

To sum up, while both approaches have benefits and drawbacks in our ever-changing world, I would concede that a range for punishment is necessary. It was also applied in most countries of the modern world today.

278 words

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 19, 2012   #2
One of the most controversial issues today related to punishments for each type of crime. ----------- In my view, this is not a good opening statement that provides a strong entrance to your essay. Try to start with a strong sentence that creates a good link to your next idea.

Some people argue that criminal punishments should be fixed whil st many others contend that this should be put into a range.considered on case basis .

In my opinion, both sides hold water. -------- does hold water mean that they both have weaknesses? I haven't come across that phrase before!

On the one hand, convincing argument can be made fixed punishment will have a deterring affecteffect to social crimes.---------------- this sentence has a poor flow that disturbs reader's attention. I would suggest;

On one hand, the fixed punishment would help reduce social crimes by warning people about the repercussions of committing such crimes.

First and foremost,In other words, with fixed punishments people know how muchabout the legal consequences they would have to face withofillegal activities exactly threat to their lives if they break the law. For example, accentancient Greeks had a law that if you stealstole anything, your hands wouldwill be cut off hands without making any reasons or explanationsinvestigation and this made Greeks society becamebecome the cleanestplace of lowerst crime rate in the world in its period.
OP leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Apr 19, 2012   #3
Hi Silva, thank you so much for paying attention !!

1. Today, we are living in a materialism world, as a result, the criminal rate increase significantly and the Laws became a measure of moral as well as a revenging tools. The topic that how the Laws processing crimes has aroused public concern. Is it strong enough ?

2. "Hold water" means "to stand up to critical examination". thefreedictionary/hold+water

PS : thank you again, it is really helpful for me.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 19, 2012   #4
Today, we are living in a materialismtic world, as a result, the criminalcrime rate increases significantly and the Ll aws (dont capitalize)have becao me athe source of measure of moral values as well as a revengingpunishing tools.

The topic that how the Laws processinglegal process helps prevent crimes has aroused public concern. --------------- you have good ideas but they lack clarity when expressed so that the reader gets confused about what you intend to say. Try simple and short sentences and pay more attention to your vocabulary and grammar. You certainly have the potential to improve a lot and convince your reader with strong arguments. The following is my suggestion for this section of your essay;

Today we live in a more materialistic world where moral values of people are on the decline. This has resulted in ever increasing crime rates through out the globe. Therefore the modern societies depend heavily on their legal systems for preventing crimes. However, the fairness of the punishments enforced by law is highly controversial .
OP leeminh 5 / 17 2  
Apr 19, 2012   #5
Thanks you !! Your writing is so attractive


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