Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


follow fashion trends or dress in personal style?----IELTS practice



Fiona_82075 3 / 6  
Aug 2, 2011   #1
Thank you~~
Fashion trends are difficult to follow these days and it is believed that they primarily just to sell clothes. Some people believe that we should not follow them and that we should dress in what we like. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With increasing availability to the Internet, people can collect a wealth of information about the latest fashion trends over the world, such as the most popular shoes style this season or the best-liked clothes color this year. However, some people think that dressing in a personal style should be advocated rather than following fashion trends. From my perspective, fashion trends have a more essential role to play in people's lives than personal dressing styles.

This is because following fashion trends enables people to keep up with the world's latest transformations, which is of vital importance if we consider the fact that people are living in a global village today. When individuals keep the habit of grasping the world's cutting-edge fashion information, they are gradually changing their attitudes to viewing the world, which means they are more open to accept diverse voices from people around the world. In contrast, if they stuck to their own fashion styles, disregarding the world's top fashion designers' achievements, they would stay conservative in their own worlds. As a result, they might fall behind shortly.

Furthermore, people with inadequate aesthetic knowledge or poor originality develop their own senses of fashion when treasuring the latest fashion information. Without following fashion trends, such people would have a hard time choosing and matching clothes, let alone forming their own dressing styles.

Despite this, it is undeniable that following fashion trends constantly may undermine individuals' personalities. Individuals purchase their clothes according to the latest fashion trends, which may result in the phenomenon that people would wear the same style of clothes .Consequently, the world would look monotonous.

With those arguments in mind, I would conclude that people should, especially for ones lacking basic aesthetic knowledge, care more about fashion trends in lives as they can keep pace with the world's changes. On the other hand, creative design talents can value their own dressing ideas, developing their own fashion styles as they like.

isai 12 / 111  
Aug 2, 2011   #2
Greetings !

Introduction....too many words..trim down some words

dlsweb.rmit.edu.au/lsu/content/4_WritingSkills/09linkingwords.htm ( check your linking devices)

Furthermore, people with inadequate aesthetic knowledge or poor originality develop their own senses of fashion when treasuring the latest fashion information. Without following fashion trends, such people would have a hard time choosing and matching clothes, let alone forming their own dressing styles. ( lack or elobration)
OP Fiona_82075 3 / 6  
Aug 3, 2011   #3
isai
Hi,isai. Thanks!

Furthermore, people with inadequate aesthetic knowledge or poor originality develop their own senses of fashion when treasuring the latest fashion information. Without following fashion trends, such people would have a hard time choosing and matching clothes, let alone forming their own dressing styles. ( lack or elobration)

You mean i need to explain my argument more clearly? I find it a little difficult to explain more. Could you help me with it? Or do you find this argument is a little off the topic?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 5, 2011   #4
Hi Fiona, thanks for helping so much at EF lately!

Here is my correction. I hope you'll type each sentence several times so you can get the good grammar habits:

With the increasing availability of the Internet, people can collect a wealth of information about the latest fashion trends all over the world, such as the most popular shoes style this season or the best-liked clothes color this year. ---Nice job! See the small corrections I made.

This is because following fashion trends enable people...

In contrast, if they stuck to their own fashion styles, disregarding the world's top fashion designers' achievements, they would stay conservative in their own worlds. As a result, they might fall behind shortly. --PERFECT grammar! However, I disagree. I see the significance of being in touch with the trends as they reflect the changing, collective interests of the people, but I do not think it is important to conform to them. For example, right now I am wearing a scuba diving mask on my face, Micky Mouse slippers on my feet, and a bullet-proof vest to protect me from scathing insults that may be directed toward me.

:-)

Despite this, it is undeniable that following fashion trends constantly may undermine individuals' personalities. ---I agree!

... style of clothes .Consequently, the world would look monotonous.--The space is before the period!

GREAT job, Fiona...
Jennifer Zhang 9 / 24  
Aug 5, 2011   #5
I learn a lot from this essay, too. Well done:)

kevin, I feel a little confused about "enable". I agree with fiona...


Home / Writing Feedback / follow fashion trends or dress in personal style?----IELTS practice
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳