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'They follow what their heart say' - Childhood Dreams essay


kabir1 1 / 3  
Jan 31, 2012   #1
My first attempt to an essay.

please give your comments on grammar part.
all the feedbacks are welcome.

Children are very enthusiastic and energetic. they learn from seeing seeing stuff. As they see new thing, they start thinking about it and if it is of their interest or if it gives them some interest. they just want to get it or want to become like that.

In younger age, every child has some dream. some want to become pilot, some want to become doctor and some want to become musician.

in childhood, most of the children want to become a pilot. as the see an aeroplane they want to fly it. an aeroplane or any flying animal makes them happy and they want to fly with them. they start visualizing themselves having wings. they think that if they would have wings so they could also fly.

some children want to become a doctor to help people. they like equipments which are along with doctors, they want to have those equipments and play with them.

some children want to become a musician. they want to be famous like musicians. they are crazy about music equipments like guitar, drums etc. when they go to any exibition they want to buy more number of equipments and they convince their parents to buy some equipments.

children love to follow what their heart say. they have many dreams. they think that as they grow they want to become a part of it.
unjh4545 4 / 11  
Jan 31, 2012   #2
Children are very enthusiastic and energetic. they learn from seeing seeing stuff things. As they see explore a new thing, they start thinking about it and if it is of their interest or if it gives them some interest. they just want to get it or want to become like that.

In younger age, every child has some a dream. some want to become pilot, some want to become doctor and or some want to become musician.

in during childhood, most of the children want to become a pilot. as the see an aeroplane airplane they want to fly it (I don't know what you meant hear). an aeroplane airplane or any flying animal makes them happy and they want to fly with them. they start visualizing themselves having wings. they think that if they would have wings so they could also fly.

some children want to become a doctor to help people. they like equipment, which are along withused by doctors, they want to have those equipments and play with them.

some children want to become a musician. they want to be famous like musicians. they are crazy about music equipments like guitar, drums etc. when they go to any exibition they want to buy more number of equipments and they convince their parents to buy some equipments.

children love to follow what their heart say. they have many dreams. they think that as they grow they want to become a part of it

There are some grammatical errors as well as wording issues. Also, you need to use capital letter for the very first word of the sentence. I did not correct every single thing because im not native speaker. Good luck!
OP kabir1 1 / 3  
Jan 31, 2012   #3
Thanks E CHO

It helped me a lot !!

I'll try to minimize all the mistakes which I have made in my essay.


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