Food shortage is still prevalent, despite of using modern technologies in the agricultural industry

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

My response:

Although in the present age, enhanced technologies are being used in the agricultural industry, food shortage is still prevalent in many areas of the world. There are many people in almost all developing countries who do not get enough food to eat because of reasons such as poverty and rising demand for food due to population growth. This article discusses the possible ways to tackle this problem.

Even though science and technology has made it possible for producing a substantial quantity of food, the population of the world is ever growing exponentially. As a result, the total production of food might not be sufficient for all the people. Apart from this, food crisis is a major issue in many countries, especially developing ones, where majority of population are poor. Because of poverty, they cannot even afford for daily bread. This situation is worsened by the fact that developing countries are yet to adapt modern agricultural technology for cultivation and harvesting. Relying on traditional methods means less production. For instance, most farmers in many parts of south Asia still sow paddy manually. This consumes a lot of time but gets only a little done.

As a solution to mitigate world hunger, developing countries could be made aware that it is time that they start learning and adapting to modern technologies. Incentives could be provided to farmers to encourage them to produce more crops and vegetables. Providing trainings, free seeds, fertilizers, agricultural tools and easy access to market their products can definitely increase the production volume. Despite of this, until poverty is fully eliminated, there will always be some population that will have to go hungry. So, international bodies like World Food Organizations can play a tremendous role in providing food aids to impoverished communities.

To conclude, despite of industrialization in the agriculture sector, many people do not have adequate food. Population growth and poverty are major causes for this issue. Agricultural development should be a prime focus of the developing countries in order to meet the ever-growing future needs.

This is a discussion misdirection. The writer has added information that is not referred to in the original prompt. As such, the topic has now changed its basis from a general world reference to specific region reference. The topic has been altered and will receive a reduced TA score due to topic inaccuracy.


This is a discussion question repetition sentence. It is not a thesis statement, which is the required infomation for the last 2 sentences. The previous sentence answered the first question. The last sentence did not. This will be another deduction based on irrelevant response format.


This is a redundancy that is not helping the essay in terms of content and clarity. The first sentence must represent the topic of the paragraph through a topic sentence anchor. There is no need to continously repeat information from the original prompt. The 2 reasoning sentences should represent the paragraph content instead.

You did a good job of paraphrasing the topic sentence, but your next two ones are faulty and would lead to a TA reduction. I suggest you write "in my view, this problem is caused by ........, and it can be dealt with by solutions such as ....... and ...... ".

In the first body paragraph, the topic sentence is irrelevant. What you need to do is to write a statement about the causes leading to widespread starvation,and then elaborate it by explaining the causes and providing some examples. Next, you haven't written a mini conclusion for the paragraph, this means you CC score is reduced.

You second topic sentence is good, but i think it can be better written. However, the solutions you provided here are not so convincing. Try thinking of two alternative solutions that may sound better and explain them in significant detail. This helps boost your TA score.

The conclusion is good.