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Nowadays, food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. --ielts



Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 18, 2014   #1
Nowadays, food travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Is it a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, as the modern civilization takes place, a model of supplying directly from the farm to supermarkets in the cities has formed. To my view, despite the benefits it offers to people, it is still largely a negative development.

It is true that there are many advantages brought to city people by this development. People are presented with more diversified choices constituted by food from all over the world. Take cherries as an example, people do not have to travel thousands of miles to enjoy those in the farm. Thus the benefit of convenience can be enjoyed. Also, as the environment in metropolitans is greatly polluted, people, by doing so, are still able to enjoy pollution-free vegetables. This prevents pollution to exert further effects into people's diet.

However, there are tradeoffs to these benefits. First, with thousands of miles of travelling, fruits and vegetables can hardly be kept fresh without chemical additives which could cause serious harm to human body. Even worse, in order to prevent vegetables from corruption, some farmers crop them days before maturation, causing a large proportion of nutrition to be lost.

Second, increased use of transportation means could worsen the existing environmental problems. More specifically, fuel that cars and airplanes use contributes greatly towards Global Warming by releasing carbon dioxide into the air every time it is burned. Eventually, in the long-term, there would be no pollution free site even in the countryside.

To conclude, although supplying food directly from farm exerts some obvious benefits especially to city people, these benefits, in the long term, does not seem to justify its costs and threats it brings.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 18, 2014   #2
as the modern civilization takes place,

.... I think this part does not deliver any meaningful idea to the reader. Avoid having such phrases in your writing. The point you need to be more considerate is that you tell your reader more convincing facts. Do not have priority for displaying your vocabulary knowledge over clarity of your sentences.

To my view,

... In my view

It is true that there are many advantages brought to city people by this development. People are presented with more diversified choices constituted by food from all over the world. Take cherries as an example, people do not have to travel thousands of miles to enjoy those in the farm. Thus the benefit of convenience can be enjoyed. Also, as the environment in metropolitans is greatly polluted, people, by doing so, are still able to enjoy pollution-free vegetables. This prevents pollution to exert further effects into people's diet.

If you think it generates only negative effects to people, you shouldn't talk about the other side of the issue.
OP Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 18, 2014   #3
thanks for commenting:)

If you think it generates only negative effects to people, you shouldn't talk about the other side of the issue.

i'm a bit confused here. i thought it would be better answering the question if both sides are mentioned. when should we write about both sides and when should we only consider one side then?
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 18, 2014   #4
If you think it generates only negative effects to people, you shouldn't talk about the other side of the issue.

Yes, the reader expects you to justify your position in the argument. So you need to keep giving reasons to support your position.
SHanafi 120 / 357  
Feb 18, 2014   #5
hi, I am beginner and here's little from me

Also, as the environment in metropolitans is greatly polluted, people, by doing so, are still able to enjoy pollution-free vegetables.

his sentence quite confusing when I read.
and

some farmers crop them days before maturation ,

I am not sure this is an appropriate word. In my understanding, maturation commonly used in physical or psychological field.
Arun0506 27 / 119  
Feb 18, 2014   #6
Nowadays, as the modern civilization takes place, a model of supplying directly from the farm to supermarkets in the cities has formed. To my view, despite the benefits it offers to people, it is still largely a negative development.

Good that you state your opinion however, your introduction need additional point to state the background of your topic such as
" Nowadays, as a result of modern civilization, food products are supplied to distant places in order to enhance business among global customers and to fulfill the expectation of consumers. There appears to be wide-range of advantages as well as disadvantages associated with this trend. In my personal view, it seems disadvantages are far outweigh the benefits. "

i'm a bit confused here. i thought it would be better answering the question if both sides are mentioned. when should we write about both sides and when should we only consider one side then?

As per my knowledge here you can discuss both advantage and disadvantage and state your prompt with supporting example to your position"
Dumi and Pahan correct me If I am wrong
OP Atakeielts 5 / 13  
Feb 22, 2014   #7
Thanks guys those are very helpful feedbacks :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 22, 2014   #8
As per my knowledge here you can discuss both advantage and disadvantage and state your prompt with supporting example to your position"
Dumi and Pahan correct me If I am wrong

Well, I still feel you don't have to talk about both sides in this essay. The reason is that the prompt does not ask you to discuss both sides (if it does, yes then you have to discuss both advantages and disadvantages) In this case it asks -

Is it a positive or a negative development?

... So, the question is as direct as Agree/ Disagree. You need to choose one of them and then take your reader along the path of your opinion. You should discuss both if you hold the opinion that it has advantages and disadvantages equally. However, in my personal view, it's always easier take one side and argue on that. You have to be mindful about the time factor too :)


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