It would be of much help if someone could check over this for me! I just need to know if these couple of paragraphs are strong enough so I can submit my long essay into my portfolio.
body(is my wording confusing, or intricate? feedback please!)-
There are those who have the ability but not the desire, and then there are those who have a great desire but not the ability. This is one powerful argument, that as we are asking people to give college a try, is what we ask being fairly asked to all? College is hard and many find it hard to excel. While some truly don't have the intellectual ability, should we be placing all the blame on college being too hard or are our high schools for not preparing us enough? Coming out of high school, many of us lack good oral communication and critical thinking skills. K-12 should provide us with structure and a solid foundation for all students, but many students still come out ill-prepared.
Conclusion-
I don't argue that we force students into college, but that it's beneficial and we should all think about it. There will always be those who have their opposing views and go into the work force. Many people will find success in other things without needing a degree or some fancy certificate. College seems over-rated and not all it's cracked up to be. Am I only labeled as "intelligent" if I hold this degree? Stigmas will always loom over us, but some will come out winners, like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, and others will truly struggle, living paycheck to paycheck.
While some truly don't have the intellectual ability, should we be placing all the blame on college being too hard, or are our high schools for not preparing us well enough?
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There will always be those who have their opposing views and go directly into the work force after high school .
From what I see of your essay, it's good and strong. Your wording is fine, not confusing at all. Feel free to post the entire essay here, it does not matter how long it is. Good luck in school!
:)
