IELTS: Foreign languages should be instructed in kindergarten

Foreign language instruction should begin in kindergarten. Discuss

Being bilingual or multilingual is now considered great advantage of any modern people. With the advance in technology and facility, children nowadays have had chance to expose to foreign languages at the very early ages. It is claimed that foreign languages should be introduced since kindergarten as there would be more benefits children can derive further in their life. However, I would argue that there are also certain drawbacks of this early instruction.

In the era of globalization, foreign languages, especially those are internationally used, are considered the most power tool of anybody who mastered it. Teaching these at the early age would prepare young children a good lingual foundation; reduce the time taken to be competent in particular languages. Moreover, as children are taught foreign languages, they will be more curious about the outer world, where there are people, cultures and habits differing from them. This will encourage young generation to travel later in their life, helps broadening ones' mind about the world.

In the other hand, the negative side of early teaching foreign languages should also be regarded. Since children are not fully developed both physically and mentally by the time they go to kindergarten, instructing other languages beside mother tongue would confuse their mind, causing deficiency in functioning languages. Furthermore, the value of native language would be damaged as young children see foreign languages play more importantly, leading to original culture ignorance when they grow up. This would be greatly detrimental to any nation's entity.

In general, instructing foreign languages to young children is undoubtedly needed for their future education and social life. However, it should be at the right time with appropriate methods so as to derive the best benefit and avoid unwanted negative impacts to our young generation.

more benefits for children in their future

On the other hand

I like your essay

With the advance in technology and facility ... ( this phrase needs re-wording)

1, advanced technologies ???
2, As technology advances

Please find more natural phrases or use sentence.yourdictionary com

Do you know why you need to a range of vocabulary ? If not, examiners would not count it. In other words, you can repeat it, but try to write 280 words ( after some deduction, you will still be 250+). 'A wide range of vocabulary' does not mean you can't repeat it but show your paraphrasing skills. Some students over do it it to achieve a high score but they need to work on the other points to reach at a specific band.For instance, To reach at 8 band vocab score, one needs to fulfill all the following:

1,uses a wide range of vocabulary fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings --> Remember, it has to be 'precise/accurate'.
2,skilfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation--> occasional errors = up to 4 vocabulary mistakes in the whole essay (including spelling and unnatural phrases or structures). One example from your essay is ' With the advance in technology' + skilfully use uncommon lexical items ( 3-4 would do)

3,produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation ( this is the key for the most students as they make more errors). Rare errors = up to 4 mistakes that related to vocabulary. It could be spelling or unnatural ones ( not collocated).

Work on those levels. I do not think you would get much help from online.Most advisers are helpless and give you some general advice which would rather confuse you.

Thank you so much once again, I wonder if there were any chance for me to chat and receive more comments from you. I'm still having problems in brainstorming ideas and organized them logically...

Well... I can see you have excellent writing skills . However, it is better to pay more attention to the essay structure to make sure you earn the highest possible scores for this task. In your body paragraphs, you should provide more specific examples.