Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Essay about foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for attraction - IELTS task 2



Smile12_12 6 / 13  
May 29, 2020   #1
Hi Mr. Holt, this essay is agree and disagree essay, not give opinion. Please help me to check if my discussion way is correct?
Can I have your opinion about the essay question "what extent do you agree and disagree" and "do you agree and disagree"? Is it the same?

And when I don't have the popular example, can I create some particular one like my essay below? I am not sure if it is right but I write it as a strongly true example. Can it be acceptable.

Thank you.
In this essay, I am sure that my understanding of the prompt is correct. Hope it is OK

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions.
TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS OPINION


Every nation has their own strategies of setting price for both local and foreign customers to visit important sites and monuments. It is sometimes argued that tourists from overseas should be charged more than local residents I completely agree with this statement due to a couple of personal experiences

The differential price charging to foreign tourists is for the service purpose. These visitors require different service such as translation or Question-and-Answer service which need to be done by high-paid officers. The multilingual information of cultural and historical introduction in Vietnamese museum exemplified this perspective. People have to pay higher for someone who can work as an interpreter or translator to translate Vietnamese information into English and Chinese, so forth. This leads to high expenses that managers of these attractions have to charge back to foreigners, not local residents and have suitable strategies of this operation.

To maintain these attractive places' operation, these managers need to have good profit plans. However, they cannot charge high price to local customers due to the purpose of learning history and culture encouragement, thus foreigners will be charged higher to get profit. This is exemplified by all Vietnamese museum's operation which is divided into two operating strategies. The expenses of reconstruction plan for repairing statues or facilities which is sometimes implemented is taken from the local revenues while monthly employee's wages and profits will be from overseas revenues. Consequently, the price charging to foreigners is higher.

To conclude, the payment of foreign visitors has to be higher than the local ones due to the good maintenance plans and the international services. Furthermore, whether it is accepted is not a big issue for people to compare since the types of visitors are different.

nana02 - / 1  
May 31, 2020   #2
Hi, @Smile12_12.

I'm not sure if I am capable enough to review your essay, but I can answer your question regarding the differences of "what extent do you agree or disagree" and "do you agree or disagree".

"Do you agree or disagree with the given viewpoint" question means that the discussion would like you to discuss the essay based only on one opinion, supported by various facts, popular knowledge, or personal experience. The proper response to the prompt can only be one of two things; "I agree" or "I disagree". One can never discuss both sides as there is no option in the original prompt that indicates a comparison statements such as "Discuss both points of view."

But if the question ask for what extent do you agree/disagree like your essay did, a good way to answer this question is:
To a certain extent I agree/disagree that... However, I also think that...
By saying that you agree/disagree to a certain extent (not completely), you can now talk about both sides of the argument.

Hope this helps you! :)
chinhsy2 4 / 5  
May 31, 2020   #3
Hi,

I don't know if I'm capable of correcting your essay, however, there is an opinion I need to voice. At the beginning of each body paragraph, the first sentence should cover the idea of the whole paragraph. I fail to see this being represented in your essay.

Hope this helps.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for attraction - IELTS task 2
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳