This is my Writing essay for the topic :
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historic attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Please correct the content and add your own opinion. I would be really thankful !
taking money from tourists for local purposes
It is said that foreigners should pay out more money than internal guests when they come to visit cultural and historic attractions. I completely disagree with dis point of view.
Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the exact amount of money and the staff would be required to do this complex process. For example. cultural and historic sites attract not only domestic but also external visitor from around the world, and not all travelling destinations have an appropriate system that separate these types of guests. Hence, it seems to be an uphill struggle for cashiers to accomplish this task. Secondly, if the government demands higher payment from international visitors, they would consider the new rule as an impediment of choosing the nation as a place to spend on their vacation, resulting in some decreases in the number of guests and financial incomes supporting the tourism industry.
In my opinion, all guests are equally important and should be treated unbiasedly. As historic and cultural places are becoming a country's national identity, it is crucial to present the nation's prides to the world through foreigners. And a way to do that is maintaining, or reducing, ticket prices and accommodation fees for external tourists. For instance, oversea guests have to pay a certain amount of money for transportation, food, etc., and they would not feel happy or comfortable to pay for another increasing bill.
In conclusion, I oppose the idea that foreigners have to be required more than local visitors for tourism because they should be equally treated.@tranvinhquang720
Hi, I would like to give you my brief feedback about the essay. First of all, I assume this is the IELTS Writing task 2, so I would suggest you to write this in the topic too, so that we can use the IELTS criterion to comment. And if yes, it's IELTS-based, I would suggest you to develop your body paragraphs into 2 or 3 parts which can make your essay longer and informative (ideally 250 words). Simply, you choose the opinion that you support, pick up 2 topic sentences and then develop them. Second of all, do double check your essay before submitting to avoid spelling mistakes (e.g. this vs dis), also it helps you to ensure Subject and Verb agreement from which you don't make singular and plural nouns errors. Last but not least, please use more synonyms, paraphrases to enrich your vocabulary such as local, overseas, international, and foreign.
Hope it helps.
Practice makes perfect. Good luck to you!
