Free higher education for poor people

Hi everyone,
I'm learning ielts at this stage but mostly by myself. I just wondering is my essay go off topic (i based on my own opinion, partly agree with the topic) or not and what band score would i archive.

Thank you in advance.

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Paying for knowledge and qualifications

Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about their higher education. However, whether a government should make financial funds for everyone to study university programs is a controversial issue. My view is that not everyone needs to support from the government finance, only the poor need the help from it to go to the universities.

On the one hand, it is obvious that it is not who also need studying higher education by the government's assistant. Firstly, to study in university, they need a great learning and a good faculty of thought and reason. That is because knowing degree of the universities is higher than the knowing degree of the general school. Therefore, f they do not have enough intelligence, they will not catch up with the knowledge. Secondly, the tuition is quite expensive, only the rich could pay for this amount of money. That financial burden makes low-income people who have a potential be stopped their studying career. Whereas the wealthy always have enough money for studying process, they never worry about it.

On the other hand, the government assistant for the poor could bridge the gap between the rich and the poor. That means is everyone has a chance to study at the universities. For example, in Australia, the government creates many scholarships for poor students. After hard studying process, these poor students will become experts, they bring their knowledge back to the community. Consequently, the society gradually becomes more flourish and richer.

In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the government should have financial funds to study universities for the poor. That makes our society become more balanced and wealthier

@junny
some word you should rewrite in academic form such as knowing degree = knowledge standard, catch up = approach, or gain, poor = poverty, destitute

Tien, you need to familiarize yourself with the various types of Task 2 essay question formats. These questions require a specific type of response for every instruction given. For this essay, you were being asked for the degree of your agreement or disagreement on the given topic. This is not a conversational opinion discussion. This is an academic debate where only one side needs to be provided in the discussion based on given instructions. You approached this from a regular opinion discussion rather than an academic debate so you did not properly address the prompt requirements. Even your paraphrase is off the mark because you did not do a mere restatement of the prompt but instead, offered an immediate discussion of the topic. By the way, avoid using exaggerated terms like debate, controversial issue, and similar terms. The IELTS Task essay is always a discussion, nothing more, nothing less.

For your reference, the proper prompt paraphrase for this should be:

There are members of the public who believe that a college education is something that everyone should have the opportunity to have. They also believe that the government should provide this without charges regardless of the student's ability to pay. I disagree with this opinion for a number of reasons.

An extent essay is not the same as a comparative essay. All Task 2 essays are single opinion reasoning essays unless you read the instruction "discuss both points of view" in the original prompt instruction sentence. Therefore, you reasoning in this essay is not compliant with the requirements for this task. If this were an actual test, you would only get a partial score based on the portions of the essay that adhere to the prompt instructions.

Being a reviewer who is self-studying, you will be doing yourself a favor if you review the other sample Task 2 essays at this forum. This will help you become familiar not only with the topics that might come up, but also the various ways that the essays are discussed. You will also learn a lot about how to properly approach these essays by reading the advice given to the writer for his improvement. Use the knowledge you will be learning by applying it to your own essay interpretations of the same or similar topics and instructions.