I am looking forward to improving my writing skills in narrative stories so I hope you can have some feedbacks on my own story here. Thank you!
THE RED JUICE
A little boy named Malla lived in a small family with his mother and father. He relished his life in which his family always had time for each other. They talked, played together so happily. When the family had time, they would always spend their free time doing outdoor activities, if not indoor. They also went on a picnic to breathe some fresh air and have fun. Cooking was Malla's mother 's middle name as her food were beyond imagination, especially the watermelon juice - Malla's favourite drink - made from a high-quality blender. He called it "The red juice". Whenever he felt thirsty, his mother would brought him the drink he wanted. The neighbors also felt happy for them and simultaneously jealous of them. Everyone expected from the family a peaceful and long-lasting life until old age
Unfortunately, that didn't last long as expected. During a summer holiday trip, the family got into a traffic accident. Malla and his father survived but not his mother due to serious injury. This in turn marked the tragic moment of the boy's life. He cried a lot and felt nothing more than depression. No matter what he did and where he went, he always had the red juice to remind him of his lost mother, whereas the father, who was traumatized by his beloved wife's death, sought alcohol and strong wine to get over this scenario. Over time, his personality changed. The father went from a joyful and energetic man to a frightening and unstoppable alcoholic, so much that even neighbors didn't even want to come close. The father kept drinking, sometime abused and forced Malla to give money so he could buy even more wine. Ultimately, he got fired from his company and had to work at a mine near his house.
Poor Malla, not only losing his mother but also having to handle his father's abusive manner, had never experienced something as painful as this. He started to drink even more red juice and think more about his mother, even talking alone as if his mother was still there. The father got annoyed and soon took away the blender thinking it could stop his imagination for good. That moment hit Malla so hard he burst into tears, but his father didn't care. At midnight, while the father was sleeping, Malla sit outside his house, walking around and thinking a lot about the situation. He asked himself so many questions: "Why would this happen? Why am I responsible for this? What did I do wrong?..." As he was walking under the moonlight in the backyard, he saw a small storehouse. Ever since his mother pass away, his father forbade him to come close. "Now that my father is sleeping, I need to see what he is hiding from me" Malla said in curiosity. He opened the door and saw a strange object. There was also a sentence "Touch this thing and you will get your red juice again". Seeing this, Malla was surprised. He touched the object and the red juice really came out. Malla took a sip. Despite the different taste, he still considered it "Red juice" and touched it even more. Malla could even feel the presence of his mother and chose to follow her, enjoying the life he deserved.
The next day, his father woke up. He had a strange dream in which he was told to open the safe using a hidden key in his wife's old handbag. Feeling confused, he took the key and opened the safe, thinking there was some money. To his surprise, it was a medical record. From that, he learned that his son, Malla, had a paranoid for an entire a year. He used to leave for work most of the time, so he had no idea about it. A strong sense of anxiety arose, the father went to Malla's bedroom but he wasn't there. He searched the entire house in vain to look for him. He continued searching outside until he came to the storehouse. He saw the red liquid beneath the door. He grasped "Is that...blood?!". He opened the door and was shocked: Malla sit in there, covered with blood on his hands, stomach and mouth, along with the blade from the blender and a photo of his wife. The father finally realised, but it was too late for anything to be undone. "This is all my faults, I should have known this earlier" the father critized himself. He went inside, pulled out a knife. He thought about the worst thing, but he stopped. "No...I can't do this, I keep making mistakes over and over again. Perhaps my son and wife have forgiven me for my sins, I must be better to please them."
After that horrifying incident, the father changed his attitude. He became harmonious with people around him, doing his best to correct his past mistakes. The neighbors around him also felt bad for him, so they motivated and helped him with his struggles. He seemed to have found his lost happiness. Years later, he passed away from cancer, eventually reuniting with his family.
THE RED JUICE
A little boy named Malla lived in a small family with his mother and father. He relished his life in which his family always had time for each other. They talked, played together so happily. When the family had time, they would always spend their free time doing outdoor activities, if not indoor. They also went on a picnic to breathe some fresh air and have fun. Cooking was Malla's mother 's middle name as her food were beyond imagination, especially the watermelon juice - Malla's favourite drink - made from a high-quality blender. He called it "The red juice". Whenever he felt thirsty, his mother would brought him the drink he wanted. The neighbors also felt happy for them and simultaneously jealous of them. Everyone expected from the family a peaceful and long-lasting life until old age
Unfortunately, that didn't last long as expected. During a summer holiday trip, the family got into a traffic accident. Malla and his father survived but not his mother due to serious injury. This in turn marked the tragic moment of the boy's life. He cried a lot and felt nothing more than depression. No matter what he did and where he went, he always had the red juice to remind him of his lost mother, whereas the father, who was traumatized by his beloved wife's death, sought alcohol and strong wine to get over this scenario. Over time, his personality changed. The father went from a joyful and energetic man to a frightening and unstoppable alcoholic, so much that even neighbors didn't even want to come close. The father kept drinking, sometime abused and forced Malla to give money so he could buy even more wine. Ultimately, he got fired from his company and had to work at a mine near his house.
Poor Malla, not only losing his mother but also having to handle his father's abusive manner, had never experienced something as painful as this. He started to drink even more red juice and think more about his mother, even talking alone as if his mother was still there. The father got annoyed and soon took away the blender thinking it could stop his imagination for good. That moment hit Malla so hard he burst into tears, but his father didn't care. At midnight, while the father was sleeping, Malla sit outside his house, walking around and thinking a lot about the situation. He asked himself so many questions: "Why would this happen? Why am I responsible for this? What did I do wrong?..." As he was walking under the moonlight in the backyard, he saw a small storehouse. Ever since his mother pass away, his father forbade him to come close. "Now that my father is sleeping, I need to see what he is hiding from me" Malla said in curiosity. He opened the door and saw a strange object. There was also a sentence "Touch this thing and you will get your red juice again". Seeing this, Malla was surprised. He touched the object and the red juice really came out. Malla took a sip. Despite the different taste, he still considered it "Red juice" and touched it even more. Malla could even feel the presence of his mother and chose to follow her, enjoying the life he deserved.
The next day, his father woke up. He had a strange dream in which he was told to open the safe using a hidden key in his wife's old handbag. Feeling confused, he took the key and opened the safe, thinking there was some money. To his surprise, it was a medical record. From that, he learned that his son, Malla, had a paranoid for an entire a year. He used to leave for work most of the time, so he had no idea about it. A strong sense of anxiety arose, the father went to Malla's bedroom but he wasn't there. He searched the entire house in vain to look for him. He continued searching outside until he came to the storehouse. He saw the red liquid beneath the door. He grasped "Is that...blood?!". He opened the door and was shocked: Malla sit in there, covered with blood on his hands, stomach and mouth, along with the blade from the blender and a photo of his wife. The father finally realised, but it was too late for anything to be undone. "This is all my faults, I should have known this earlier" the father critized himself. He went inside, pulled out a knife. He thought about the worst thing, but he stopped. "No...I can't do this, I keep making mistakes over and over again. Perhaps my son and wife have forgiven me for my sins, I must be better to please them."
After that horrifying incident, the father changed his attitude. He became harmonious with people around him, doing his best to correct his past mistakes. The neighbors around him also felt bad for him, so they motivated and helped him with his struggles. He seemed to have found his lost happiness. Years later, he passed away from cancer, eventually reuniting with his family.
