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'freedom and independence' Do you learn better by yourself or with a teacher?


darklight 1 / -  
Dec 22, 2009   #1
Hi, it is my first essay and i am preparing for the toefl .. can you check this pls with comments ..

Some people prefer to learn by themselves. In my opinion, to learn with a teacher has more benefits. Teacher supervises you with assignments or exams, encourages you with criticisms and praises and can give you a lot of information, which is difficult to obtain without a guide. This reasons and examples listed below will strengthen my point of view.

Firstly, when you study without a teacher you have so much freedom and independence, which can decrease your responsibility for your goals and you must be strong minded enough to keep on. Studying with a teacher, however, you feel that you are urged to study and teacher acts a real pressure on you. He may give you some assignments to do or some exams to practice, teacher gives you some advices when you are in dilemma, and can encourage you with his criticisms and praises.

Secondly, one more benefit of studying with teacher is teacher's knowledge. In general, teachers can give more fundamental information than book. They teach student how to learn, how to absorb information and how to apply them in different situations. For instance, starting to a new subject requires someone help because it is unfamiliar to you, and if book describes all this information it will be very big, this endless writings will make it boring to you and this can prevent you to achieve success.

As a conclusion, I strongly believe that students must not learn without help of teachers. Because student can spend time studying alone and with teacher together. In my opinion, students should focus on learning and teachers are a wonderful source of personal development.

Thanks

hitchhike 14 / 27  
Dec 22, 2009   #2
hi,

to learn with a teacher..
These reasons and examples...

By studying with a teacher, you, however, feel..
...some pieces of advices
Because students can spend
sbdaiquiri 8 / 21  
Dec 22, 2009   #3
Maybe, instead of using the informal second person, use third person by replacing "you" with "a student" or "an individual".

example:

Firstly, when youstudents study without a teacher youthey have so muchmore freedom and independence...

Teachers supervises with assignments or exams, encourages you with criticisms and praises and can give you a lot of information

For instance, starting to a new subject requires someoneexternal help because it is unfamiliar to you , and if books describes all this information it will be very big lengthy. thisE ndless writings will make it boring to a personand this , which can prevent youonetofrom achieving success.

Good Luck!
Keng 39 / 134  
Dec 24, 2009   #4
Your overall essay is pretty good.

It would be better if you used the word "To begin with, more important, instead of firstly and secondly." Try not to use redundant words

Here are my suggestions.


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