Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 8


IELTS Task 1: A Letter to a friend in an English speaking country



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 1, 2014   #1
hi there..., I have an aim to send this letter to my friend who lives abroad. I need some feedback before I bring it to the post office :)

You are planning to stay with a friend in an English speaking country. You are writing to
your friend to find out some additional information. In your letter ask the following
questions:
- How long should you plan to stay for
- What you should bring with you
- What you would like to do there
There is no need to include names and addresses.

Answer:

Hi Anya,

I hope you are OK right there. I am writing to inform you about my planned trip to come and stay to your place. Indeed, with this letter, I want to make sure a few details that you and I should concern before this trip is taken, so both you and I know what we should have been done.

Firstly, due largely to having a 6-month school holiday, starting from 1st April to 31st October 2014, I have a plan to stay for 5 months. We have been talking about this plan, but I should re-inform you because there is a change for the schedule, from 10 months to 5 months, regarding the school holiday I should have got.

Secondly, is there any recommendation stuff, like a special blanket or sweater that I should bring? I notice that soon there will be winter, so it could be this stuff will help me next if I have to face the condition which is different from the place I used to live. What about the medicine? Is it OK if I bring my medicine? As you know I have a problem with my cough, my doctor suggests me to take this medicine every day. But, I think I will not have this medicine, if there is a drug store which is available me to have this kind of medicine in your area.

Lastly, after talking on the phone, and doing some video calls, we have talked about some areas that I would like to visit. I am really interested in visiting these areas, then ready for making short documentary English films . Have you contacted them and booked the accommodation? I hope so.

Anyway, this is the end of the letter. I am looking forward to seeing you, soon.

Bises,

Cl0ark0 1 / 10  
Feb 1, 2014   #2
I hope you are doing very well. Within this letter I have a few questions and corrections since we last discussed to have this trip a very pleasant experience.

First, I plan to stay for five months since I have a school holiday that runs 6 months beginning 1st of April to 31st of October. I informed you earlier that I had 10 months, unfortunately this will not happen as it was reduced to five.

Next, is there anything necessary to better prepare for the winter conditions (i.e. extra blankets, sweaters, or proper shoes). Another thing I want to mention and ask is about the medicine I take. (Name the cough medication you are taking) Do you know if any drug stores have this available so if I am not able to take it I won't worry about it?

To close this letter off, it is always great talking to you over the phone or video calls. I am really excited to see you and the places that sound amazing as well. The last thing I want to ask is the short documentary. Have you contacted them and booked the accommodation?

I am looking forward to seeing you soon,

(Your name)

It looks great, nice n' simple letter. This is just what I think should change. I hope I helped you.
Karisha - / 3  
Feb 1, 2014   #3
Not bad :)
I would rather change second areas to places ,for ex.
I am really interested in visiting these areas places
K.
OP eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 1, 2014   #4
Hi Cl0ark0...,

Woooww... I couldn't say anything than Big Thanks for the alteration in my letter . You have given me more than I expected. To me, writing a letter beats comparison with other writings. It is because the use of good phrases should be appropriate for the reader to understand the points. I learn a lot from you. Again, thank you. :)
OP eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 1, 2014   #5
Hi Karisha...

I tried to illustrate the "area' as the particular part of the country that I want to visit, but you came to me then showed the word of Place which is more suitable for a Holiday topic. I think it, "place", is good idea, Places replaces the word Areas is the right choice. Thank you very much, Karisha :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 2, 2014   #6
I hope you are OK right there.

.... since this is an informal letter you enjoy lots of freedom in presenting your ideas. However, it is better you don't be too slang :D

I hope you are doing fine.
I am writing to inform youask a few things about my planned trip to your come and stay to your place.

Indeed, with this letter, I want to make sure a few details that you and I should concern before this trip is taken, so both you and I know what we should have been done.

.... This sounds a bit repetitive :(
This is what I suggest;
Hello Anya,
Hope everything is fine with you. The days are getting closer for my visit to your beautiful country. Actually, I write this letter to ask you a few things that I need to be more clear about.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Feb 2, 2014   #7
Firstly, due largely to having a 6-month school holiday, starting from 1st April to 31st October 2014, I have a plan to stay for 5 months. We have been talking about this plan, but I should re-inform you because there is a change forin the schedule, from 10 months to 5 months, regarding the school holiday I should have got.

Well, you are asked to deal with -

In your letter ask the following questions: - How long should you plan to stay for

So this para needs to be focused on that;
First, I need to get your advice on the duration of my stay with you. My vacation runs for six moths starting from the 1st April to 31st October. However, I would like to stay at your place for five moths, which is form April to September, if you feel that is appropriate. Please let me know if you have any concerns regarding this arrangement. Please suggest me should I need to make any alterations in this plan.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 3, 2014   #8
is there any recommendation stuff,

.... sounds too slang. Avoid such phrases and keep your writing in line with a more professional approach though your letter can take more informal tone.

Secondly, is there any recommendation stuff...

What would be the weather like during that period? Would you recommend me to bring some warm cloths? Please let me know the things that you feel that I should bring along with me for my stay there. Also, I would love to bring some thing for you from my country. Please let me know what would you like me to bring for you. We have very good leather products and garments. Is there any particular item you'd like me to bring for you?


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A Letter to a friend in an English speaking country
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳