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[TOEFL] Friendship is more important than mistake by a friend, although mistake is terrible.


goodluck 1 / -  
Dec 19, 2012   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Letting a friend make a mistake is better than taking action that risks destroying a friendship.Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

There is an argument regrading weather letting a friend make a mistake is better than taking action that risks destroying a friendship. It is widely accepted by many people that a mistake will return sometimes terrible result. However, I believe that friendship is more important than mistake by a friend, although mistake is terrible. In this essay, I will present two reasons supporting my opinion.

First of all, a mistake does not last for a long time but a friendship lasts forever. Anybody does not remember mistakes. If someone remembers mistake, he or she has a closed mind. I want to say that mistakes will be forgotten quickly. For example, my friend Lee made a mistake that he broke my precious gift. However, I forgot about it just after two days, and I felt at peace with him. Some people might say I am silly, but I think mistake is more forgettable than friendship.

Second, Everybody makes mistake. However, if you end a friendship whenever your friend makes a mistake, there will be no friends around you. I agree if a friend makes very a big mistake, we will need to end a friendship. However, when the mistake friend made was not a big problem, we need to understand friend and forgive it because a friend is a gift of our life. According to a research, 85% of people answered that a best gift is a friend.

I think that a mistake can not brake friendship if it is not a big because friendship is forever and gift our life.

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Dec 21, 2012   #2
Very good introduction. It is well presented. I wish if you had not included the following line as it does not seem adding any value to your essay. Your examiner anyway expects you to present your reasons with examples;

In this essay, I will present two reasons supporting my opinion.

.... without this it reads even better :)

. Anybody does not remember mistakes.

... Why not you make this sound a more general condition;
Generally, people tend to forget others' mistakes soon.
alicederp 10 / 56 4  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
Alright I'm going to be quite critical here so please don't take offense.

"First of all, a mistake does not last for a long time but a friendship lasts forever." <- Although I understand your reasoning, it is quite extreme to state that a mistake will not last for a long time. For instance, deciding to stand aside when a friend wants to kill him/herself due to the fear of breaking a friendship would certainly last a long time. The life of a friend is probably more valuable than a broken friendship if you really cared about them.

The example you used to support your claim is strong. Good job!

I think overall this a pretty good essay but you might want to soften superlatives and consider counterarguments.


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