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More funds to science education rather than other disciplines for the country's development

gintoki7 1 / -  
Jul 27, 2020   #1
Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country.

Do you agree or disagree?

These days, a large number of people are in favour of the idea that goverment should allocate more of its funding to science education rather than other disciplines for the country's development. From my point of view, I strongly disagree with this opinion because all subjects are equally essential in developing the country.

To start with, it is argued that science education could make a greater contribution to society than other subjects as it has transformed several aspects of human's life with the invention of car, light bulb and the like. However, science is not the only subject that aids the society's advancement greatly.

Throughout the history, other disciplines have also proved their enormous help in developing the country. Take literature for example, teaching people how to read and write is the key step to eliminating illiteracy. What's more. foreign language is also an integral subject that enables global communication among several countries.

In conclusion, I would like to reaffirm that every subject has equal importance in advancing the society so goverment should spend money on them equally.
MindfulIELTS 2 / 2 3  
Jul 28, 2020   #2
(goverNment check again your whole essay)

aspects of human's life with the invention of carS, light bulbS and the like. ... that aids the society's ...

Throughout the history, ... TAKE LITERATURE AS AN EXAMPLE, ... What's more NO RHETORIC QUESTION IN this type of ESSAY. foreign language is ...

In conclusion, I would like I WOULD HOLD/BELIEVE/REAFFIRM THAT I would like that every subject ... in advancing the society, so THE goverment should ...

Your paragraphs are too short. Try to work out on topic sentences carefully. you can search google on how to have better topic sentences.
Your ideas are quite nice. Have a good day and enjoy doing what you love.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,647 3480  
Jul 28, 2020   #3
There is a minimum 250 word count on this essay. Due to the shortness of the essay, I am unable to review your work for accuracy and proper formatting. You do not really show your true English writing skills in this paper. It was a waste of your time because you did not even try to meet the word requirements. If you write this way in the actual test, you will more than likely receive a failing score due to the percentage deduction on the word count. Please do better next time and try to meet the 250 minimum word requirement, with 3-5 sentences per paragraph. Familiarize yourself with the writing demands of the various essay topics before you try to write another essay. You have more than enough examples at this forum for you to be able to do that. You do not need to Google it.

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