Gaining any jobs are pivotal aspect due the fact that people need money for living

Some people believe that unemployed people should be made to work for their welfare/benefit payments. Others, however, see this as cheap labour.
Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of making unemployed people take any job.
Do you believe that making unemployed people work is a good idea?

Answer:

Some citizens make an assumption that the people which do not have an occupation should be made to work for obtaining some benefits as if they apply for a job it will decreasing te poverty numbers since they found an appropriate job which provided by the government. However, the people health percentage also show a dramatic decrease because they should work the most of their time and forget to take a rest.

Such a massive transformation about people being more industrious and obtaining some abilities with their job. Due to the fact that they insist themselves for working much more a long time in work venue. In the 2014 recent University of Indonesia disclosed that 50% of Jakarta population which does not have labour have being occupant which has the ambition to broaden their horizon and therefore some of them become richer than others and also more diligent for collecting fund.

Apart from the previous discussion, it also brings drawback for several societies, such as the quality of people's health percentages will be predicted decrease dramatically as they ignore to take a rest for rejuvenating their body and mind. In 2015 the novel Oxford University research revealed that 35% of Britain population have become much more vulnerable to prevent the virus as they forgot to keep their health and therefore some of them will become poor as they should spend the great number of money to hospitalize more often than others.

In conclusion, I am more likely to believe that gaining any jobs are pivotal aspect due the fact that the people need money to continue their entire life. However, it also brings advantage and disadvantage and thinking twice before do your decision.

the data in my essay is fake, I am sorry before

Here my corrections:
- it will decreasingdecrease the poverty. Modals (will, might, should, must,,, ) + V1
- they should work the most of their time. They should spend a lot of time to work
- Such a massive transformation about people is being more industrious and obtaining ...
a sentence must be contained S + V.
- to keep their health. you can use; to maintain health

Keep moving :)