Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


gaining knowledge/ More job opportunities; Reasons behind attending universities



Nesreen 15 / 41  
Jun 9, 2010   #1
This is my essay. :)

According to the Longman dictionary, the word university means "an educational institution at the highest level, where you study for a degree". In fact, universities differ in many aspects such as educational level, an academic things, and good curricula. Also, our objectives to attend universities differ from person to person. Moreover, the majority of us attend university for two main reasons which are increasing knowledge and getting more chances for jobs in the future.

Many people enter universities to get more information and knowledge in fields we enroll for. Universities are considered as an important source of learning. For instance, because of professors in the universities are well-educated, well-certified and sophisticated. They are considered as a direct source of information from which students can contact and interact with to gain information. Moreover, libraries at the universities are deemed one of most important references for students to get knowledge related to their studying. For example, Libraries contain many references such as books, past papers, researches, articles, and CDs that facilitate research for students.

Beside, one of the main important reasons for attending universities is to get more opportunity for jobs. Nowadays, everything has developed which forces people to improve themselves according to this. For instance, in the past, it was acceptable for an institution to hire an employee who has no knowledge of computers, whereas, nowadays, it is very difficult for an organization to admit an employee who doesn't have at least ICDL certificate even if his job is not related to the computer. Actually the more approved certificates you have the more chances you have for a good job with high salary.

In conclusion, gaining knowledge and having more chances for jobs in the future are considered the basic goals for people to attend universities. In my opinion, to have a certificate from an approval university is not as important as having knowledge and information in your mind. Furthermore, to have information in our minds without using it is a big loss so that when we study something at university, we have to benefit other people by using it.

babyevy 3 / 26  
Jun 9, 2010   #2
Good essay!!! good introduction and thesis, but there is a word that doesn't sound good for me,
I would eliminate it or use another word.

Moreover, the majority of us attend university for two main reasons which are increasing knowledge and getting more chances for jobs in the future

Besides , one of the main important reasons for attending universities is to get more opportunity for jobsjob opportunities

Beside is a preposition that means 'next to', 'at the side of'.
Besides is a preposition that means 'in addition to' or 'apart from'.

: )
OP Nesreen 15 / 41  
Jun 10, 2010   #3
So you mean that the problem of my writing is the vocabulary that I used it in that writing!!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jun 10, 2010   #4
You should capitalize the whole title:
According to the Longman Dictionary, the word ...

Use " " marks:
According to Longman Dictionary, the word "university" means ...

So you mean that the problem of my writing is the vocabulary that I used it in that writing!!!

Ha ha, well.. I have so much respect for people who are bilingual. I know a little Spanish, and if I tried to write an essay like this in Spanish it would not be nearly as good as your essay is in English.

Besides , one of the...
Let's not use "besides" here. Usually, when besides is at the beginning of a sentence, it means the same as "moreover." It usually is used when making an assertion or argument. "You should do it, because I did it last time. Besides, you are more skilled at it."

Another important reason for attending universities is to get more opportunity for jobs. Nowadays, everything technology has developed, and people have to improve themselves according to it. which forces people to improve themselves according to this.

:-)
OP Nesreen 15 / 41  
Jun 11, 2010   #5
What do u mean by this EF

Ha ha, well.. I have so much respect for people who are bilingual. I know a little Spanish, and if I tried to write an essay like this in Spanish it would not be nearly as good as your essay is in English???

Is my English writing is bad as your Writing in Spanish????
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jun 11, 2010   #6
Is my English writing is bad as your Writing in Spanish?

No, no, I was trying to say that it is better, much better.

I saw that you mentioned your vocabulary, and I was afraid you felt frustrated, so I wanted to tell you that it takes a long time to build a big vocabulary and that you are way ahead of me. :-)

That's why I said that if I tried to write an essay like this in Spanish it would not be nearly as good as your essay is in English.


Home / Writing Feedback / gaining knowledge/ More job opportunities; Reasons behind attending universities
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳