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[Toefl] Games are good to improve cognitive abilities.



osvaldo_o 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2015   #1
Would you please correct the grammar, speeling and other mistakes. Besides that, I would be grateful if someone who have already taken the test makes some comments about it content.

Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play then.

Games are good to improve cognitive abilities, such as, strategy and socialization. As such, Clash of Clans games is an example of game that one needs to plan a strategy to attach other player and work on groups as well. On the other hand, there are people who are addicted to games and cannot study, practice sports and socialize with other people face to face.

I believe that games brings benefits to children. For example, I have a cousin who loves to play Clash of Clans, which is a strategy game of war. I think it brought cognitions benefits to him, such as, it improves his ability to come up with a plan to attack the enemy and in real life this ability may help him to develop an essay efficient and find solutions for real problems. In addition, differ from what the most people say, there are games that stimulate socializations. It is the case of Clash of Clans, where we need to work on groups, as the name says a clan, to win wars.

However, there are people who are prone to be addicted to games and consequently harm other important things in their lives. As such, practice sports, socialization with people by face to face and studies as well. For instance, I have watched on television a girl who was addicted to this game, Clash of Clans, and would play it during all day. She give up to work and study because of this game. This problem is quite common and so serious that is happens.

To summarize, I thing that games are not a waste of time and actually it is important to people improve cognitive abilities, such as, planning and socialization. However, parents need to stablish time and duration to play this kind of games in order not to harm their studies and wealthy. Besides that, if they note they are addicted so they need to search for specialized medical treatment.

beckybob2009 1 / 2  
Aug 21, 2015   #2
To summarize, I thing that games are not a waste of time and actually it is important to people improve cognitive abilities,(see Below)
To summarize, I (think) that games are not a waste of time and actually it is important to people improve cognitive abilities,
cannot study, practice sports and (or) socialize with other people face to face.
and would play it during all day (see Below)
and would play it all day
She(would) give up( to) work and study because of this game
This problem is quite common and so serious that is happens.- consider rewording
Weed 1 / 1  
Aug 22, 2015   #3
Hello, osvaldo_o.
It is quite a good eassy. Here are my suggestions. Hope they can help you.
First, your attitude towards gamse is a little equivocal and confusing. You can try to present your opinion more direct and definite and try to reconstruct the essay more logically.

Second, You use Clash of Clan as an typical example. It's great. But maybe you can add more examles to make your demonstration more various.

Good luck!
fahad_a11 - / 2  
Aug 25, 2015   #4
Its a well writteen essay, you need some more practice in order to achieve desired results!!!


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