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TOEFL--good teachers' salaries improve the quality of education fast


mhh2531 5 / 7  
Sep 21, 2011   #1
Do you agree or disagree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries?
this is my toefl essay, and please point the incorrect. thanks a lot!

I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

By increasing teachers' salaries, teachers can spend more time on education. When the government increases the teachers' salaries, teacher can produce more responsibility in education. If the government decreases the part of salary, teachers may have thought why do we spend a lot of time on this? The government may want to spend money on the equipment or computers. It also the ways of improvement the education. However, we do more, we should take more. This thought is everyone who must have. When the government want to change the education, teachers are the crucial point

By increasing teachers' salaries, teachers can produce more enthusiasm in education. Teachers take the same salaries until today, when they entered this education. They must want to do more things at first. But things are changed, it need time to wait. However, government can increase their salaries in time, they have more confidence to insist.

By increasing teacher's salaries, teachers can spend more time on focus teaching material of research. Teachers also want change the quality of education, which they can do starting form the teaching material. Today the government doesn't want to raise salaries of teachers who don't have other strength to improve the materials. In contrast, by increasing teacher's salaries, teachers can throw themself into research the materials.

For the above reasons, I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. The reasonable salaries can improve the quality of education fast. Teachers are also people , is not machine. They also need money to relax so that they have strength when they back to work.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 21, 2011   #2
By increasing teachers' salaries, teachers can spend more time on education.----- though your sentence does not seem to have grammer issues, I feel it doesn't sound logical. Salary increment would help teachers financially but it would not avail them more free time. So I suggest you to create a link between the two such as;

By increasing teachers' salaries, they would be motivated to perform their job better.

Also I feel you should re- write your first para because it does not clearly convince your ideas to the reader. First be clear with the idea you are going to tell the reader and then support it with an example. In toefl they expect this.

For example;
By increasing teachers' salaries, they would be motivated to perform their job better. Without recieving a proper wage for their service, the teachers may be demoralized and therfore be less committed to their job . This could create serious issues that can have a negative impact on the education system because their dedication and committement play a crucial role in enhancing the quality of any education system. For example, a school with all the modern facilities would not produce good scholars if it does not have a high performing teaching staff that guides their students in the right path to success.
OP mhh2531 5 / 7  
Sep 21, 2011   #3
Thank you very much!
I need more point and practice toefl's test!
sweetykaur - / 1  
Oct 13, 2011   #4
I don't think the quality teaching and learning will increase by increasing the salary, there should be positive motivation from the management that increases level of teaching.

The school where I teach, the management has lot of seminars through Xseed, which gives me the an idea of how to teach the student like give him more of practical knowledge, conduct debates or tell the students to create chart on the topic that I taught etc...

xseed.in/princ-why-xseed.html


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