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Phuongnguyen256 7 / 12 2  
Jul 3, 2018   #1
Some high school leavers think that they should work or travel for a period of time instead of entering university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with that. Write at least 250 words.

Gap year for high school graduates

It is naturally observed that some high school graduates think they should spend a certain amount of time working or traveling before going straight to the university. In reality, there is a greater liking for a gap time among students who intend it for multiple purposes. However, from my perspective, this route serves its both advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand, working and traveling would give the students a great opportunity to gain invaluable experience. First, they can mount some campaigns and raise funds to financially support the livings of the poor and elderly. Second, young adults will not only run into many kinds of people but also enlarge our relationship networks. And therefore, I personally believe this can be the deciding factor in equiping seniors with essential skills to manage people in our future career. Last, they are more likely to secure a decent job and help strengthen our community.

On the other hand, not everyone thinks traveling from one place to another for a while suits them. As a matter of fact, some can not afford, for example, the plane tickets, food and accommodation while others are scared of taking risks. Many high school leavers may consider working in gap time simply as a means of earning money more quickly but that makes them less competitive compared with their peers. Consequently, it might be easier for them fall behind of the game when they apply for a position in the future.

In conclusion, taking a gap year between high school and university for work or travel will be of immediate benefit providing that would-be undergraduates may accumulate experience and learn more about themselves to be certain of what next step would be towards the future success.

289 words.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15043 4827  
Jul 4, 2018   #2
Viet, I did not even get past reading your opening paraphrase when I immediately spotted a prompt deviation error in your writing. You have totally changed the single opinion agree or disagree essay into an advantage and disadvantage essay. Which means you have automatically failed in the TA section of the score because your response is not in compliance with the prompt instructions. Let me show you the specific error that you made:

Original Thesis: To what extent do you agree or disagree
Your Thesis: from my perspective, this route serves its both advantages and disadvantages.

Do you clearly see where you made the mistake? Do you understand why your response can not be considered for a passing score? Exactly. The prompt was asking you to discuss one thing and you chose to totally ignore the instruction, creating your own discussion topic instead. Based on this failure, I do not even need to read the rest of the essay because you will not get a passing mark since you proved that you either cannot understand English instructions or you chose to simply ignore the instructions you were given.

It seems that you have a major problem with English comprehension skills. Reading the sample essays here and learning how to properly respond to them by example should be able to help better understand the different instructions for these opinion essays.

Home / Writing Feedback / GAP YEAR BETWEEN HIGHSCHOOL AND COLLEGE. Is it a good decision?
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