[IELTS]Task 2: Generally believed that some people are born with certain talents

Task2 :It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child ca be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both these views and give your opinion

My answer
I partially agree with the statement that some people are born with talents for music or sports since i believe that it is true that children can be trained to become a good sportsperson or a musician too.

All of these claims come down to one thing ultimately and that is passion. It can be seen throughout history that certain people show passion at a very early age than others which has led them to be a successful sportsperson or a musician and earn the title "talent by birth". If "talent by birth" is to be believed then such an individual should always win and would also require no/ minimum requirement for training.

Mike Schumacher had shown his talent in driving at a very young age, though it is interpreted as talent, it has to be understood that he had just exhibited his passion for driving. Now along with the passion and the training he received he was able to make it to the top spot in the sport of racing. If it was pure talent which had led him to this glory then when he came back out of his retirement he should have been able to replicate the same without much effort but the case is not the same.

Generally when people find certain amount of elegance in the way people play and win or sing and attract audience they tag those people saying they were born with talent.

Therefore, In my Opinion I would like to say that there is a little bit of talent associated with such individuals but it is more of passion and hardwork that has driven them to such glory across any field. And because of this , any person can be trained to become a good sportsperson or a musician too.

Please provide your valuable comments

thanks,
sharman

HI sharman

pls note that an essay body will have at least two paragraphs which will prove what you stated at opening...
See that your sentences about Mike Schumacher are just a example for previous sentence.

what about "Generally when people find certain amount of elegance in the way people play and win or sing and attract audience they tag those people saying they were born with talent."

when u put in new line, it means that you are beginning new paragraph, but only sentence can not make a paragraph.

Therefore, In my Opinion I would like to say that there is a little bit of talent associated with such individuals but it is more of passion...

Maybe you can try this format for this particular task.
1. Introduction.
2. First view
3. Second view
4. Your opinion.
5. Conclusion.

Hi.... You need to pay attention to your essay structure - Your essay needs to contain an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion. This is the format for your introduction;

Hook - Write a sentence that can grab reader's attention and also has a direct relevance to your prompt.
Background of the Issue - Discuss the issue by introducing the two sides of the argument.
State your opinion - Conclude your introduction with stating your opinion.