IELTS ; We are getting more and more greedy & selfish; Should we go back to the past?

Today, people are getting greedy and selfish. Some people argue that we should attempt to go back to the older day, and show respect for the family and community. So we can make the world better to live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Paramount tarff issues arise in contemporary, people show more greed characteristic and concerned themselves when encounter events. These phenomenon evoke some people's nostalgic memories to the past and then thought they catches the straw.

Now to mention the feasibility, the old era has much more drawbacks than people's ill character. Prominently, material insufficient, too much social resources, as healthcare, food, clean water, etc. are too far from the requirements. As deprive material and fortune can't eliminate economic criminal, return to the past can't change the nature of human character. Rather than facing more arduous problems, seek the rudimentary source is the fundamental urgent resolution.

Globalization lead to propel people in fast pace life and prominently enriched social resource. Some people change to pursuing more and never content, more people have no time to consider others around them, therefore, improve spirit prosperity become a crisis and efficient problem. Government instruct public opinion to positive tendency, media broadcast more model behavior and school spread self-forgetful achievements, community integrate both senior and young folks in public services activity. All those are good measures to alleviate the problem.

In conclusion, as we must look forward to the future, find proper measure to improve the society circumstance and guide public intendency to the optimistic can be more effective than daydream to the past.

Put away the thesaurus!

Use the English you know and we'll go from there.

I agree with jkjeremy, just use simpler English.

Your grammar here and there is not great, it's mostly verb tenses and verb/noun agreements and stuff like that...
Almost as if you put it in google translate...
English is not an easy language with no good rules, I must admit!
Focus on correcting the grammar, then use sophisticated vocab.

The ideas of your essay are good: that we should not daydream to the past but improve society.

hi sunnyback

a tip for IELTS, examiners will give you good marks for complex
words usage,but they are keener on error-free sentences

.... Yes, you need to start with vocabulary that is familiar to you and you are very sure about the usage of words. Otherwise you will in trouble when you try to meddle with new words too often.

quote=sunnyback]As deprive material and fortune can't eliminate economic criminal, return to the past can't change the nature of human character. [/quote].... this sentence is very confusing. The first part has major grammar issues. What do you really try to convey the readers?

As everybody else above, I too suggest you to write simple sentences with more clarity. Don't have the habit of replacing words with synonyms as they may interpret a total different meaning.

Also don't let your sentences look crowded with too many words. Simplicity is more beautiful than glamour in many cases because it helps others to understand what you say.


There is no word "tarff" ... what is it? what do you mean? .... this is what I suggest you to introduce your topic;
The modern world is far more competitive than what it was earlier. This socioeconomic environment has influenced the modern man to be more greedy and selfish.