Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

In the past, people who lived in a small society were peacefully, now they become more selfish


faisalrachmn 5 / 6  
Jun 18, 2016   #1
The an advantage and disadvantage of living in small community

In the past, peoples who live with small society are peacefully. But, today they who live in small community become more selfish and do not know others.

There is an advantage of living in small community. The neighbor know each other well, they will have good relationship and sympathy with each other which make them always help each other's problems become lighter. For example, a homeless who live in that village helped by people who had good sympathy. And then the people left homeless live in their house and make the homeless problem lighter.

However, they are a disadvantage too. They only know little about cultures, cultures are very important for people who wanting to study abroad to make some friends there. For example, a boy from small village got a scholarship to study in the UK. When he arrived, he is had difficulty to make some friends.

Living in small society had an advantage. They will know each other and have big relationship and sympathy which make them always help others. In other hand there have a disadvantage too. They only know little about cultures which make them difficult to make some friends when they study abroad.
pujakurniawan19 9 / 16 4  
Jun 18, 2016   #2
Faisal, if this essay is IELTS test, you HAVE TO complete it with at least 250 words

In the past, peoples who lived with small society are peacefully. But, today they ...
There are the merits and the merits of living in a small village and further in this case.

So I think you have to explore again your essay specially in paragraph 2 and 3 so that complete the requirement.
zakitauhid25 4 / 4  
Jun 18, 2016   #3
The neighborneighborhood know each other well, (...) other's problems become lightermore simple unlike before .
kurniarahmi 6 / 5 1  
Jun 18, 2016   #4
Hi Faisal, I wiil try to help you with the correction your essay.

They only know little about cultures which make them difficult to make some friends when they study abroad.

I think you should add "suggestion" on last sentence. It is purposed to improvement and balance between benefit and drawback of living in the village.


Home / Writing Feedback / In the past, people who lived in a small society were peacefully, now they become more selfish