Give the cause and solution of pneumonia and diarrhea in children

the issue of diarrhea among kids

Pneumonia and diarrhea are the two major diseases that kill many children, especially in Africa and Asia. These are dangerous diseases and often occur in children, so that I will give two leading causes and two suitable solutions for this disease.

Most cases of pneumonia in children are viral, including RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), Adenovirus, Parainfluenza virus, and Influenza virus. These viruses can spread quickly through the respiratory tract, especially during sudden weather changes, seasonal changes, and poor environmental sanitation. As for diarrhea, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: About 88% of diarrhea-related deaths are caused by unsafe water, inadequate sanitation, and inadequate sanitation. Rotavirus is the leading cause of acute diarrhea and accounts for approximately 40% of hospital admissions for diarrhea in children under five years of age.

To improve children's health, I have come up with two suitable solutions to reduce the number of cases and unnecessary deaths in children. For pneumonia, the family should take the initiative to get the child vaccinated fully and on schedule with vaccines such as diphtheria-pertussis-tetanus. Clean, avoid spreading, do not smoke medicine, cooking in the room with small children. Isolate children from sick people to prevent spreading into epidemics. As for family diarrhea, they should strengthen personal hygiene in their residences and ensure food safety and hygiene and water sources in their places. And most importantly, the family should know how to properly handle a child with acute diarrhea.

In conclusion, pneumonia and diarrhea are still happening around the world. I hope that the above solutions will partly reduce the risk of disease in the future.

This essay is suitable only as an English writing exercise and not an IELTS Task 2 essay. The reason? The topic is too vast and requiring actual researched information. These 2 factors disqualify the prompt as a Task 2 topic.

While the prompt given is pretty straightforward, the representation makes it more complex with the inclusion of regional references. However, the actual discussion does not focus on these areas thereby creating a disconnection between the restatement and the discussion. One of the two presentations is incorrect.

Since Pneumonia and Diarrhea are 2 different illnesses with different underlying causes and cures, these must be discussed using separate paragraph presentations. The combined paragraph format has resulted in a confusing discussion presentation.

There are instances where the writer does not make sense with his claims. He failed to double check and correct the following error:


I have never seen anyone smoke medicine unless it was medical marijuana, which is not applicable in this case. Avoid spreading what? what does cooking have to do with anything? There is no logic to be forend in this sentence.