IELTS 1: The given diagram demonstrates the figure for shops closing and opening from 2011 to 2018

SHOP CLOSURES AND OPENINGS

The given diagram demonstrates the figure for shops closing and opening from 2011 to 2018.

At first glance, we can see that both these two quantities wildly fluctuated before that for shop closures exceeded new shop openings' in 2016.

According to the graph, the number of shops that faltered hovered around the mark of 6,000 between 2011 and 2014, then reached a low of under 1,000 in 2015. Likewise, the figure for shop openings suffered a period of instability, plummeting by more than 4,000 in 2012 and making a recovery to approximately 6,000 in 2014. From 2011 to 2015, these quantities registered constant changes as one figure overtook the other and vice versa.

However, in 2016, the number of shops closing rose to roughly 5,200, correspondingly with that for shop openings stabilizing at 4,000. This situation is projected to remain the case, as the quantity of shop that closed enjoyed a period of stability while that for new shop openings slightly dropped by 1,000 in 2018.

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The summary overview contains incorrect information and missing content. An incorrect image identifier was used to describe the given drawing. This is not a diagram, which is an instructional outline. This is line graph, which is used to identify trending measurements for a given computation. Point deductions will be applied to the LR and C+C sections of this paragraph due to the incorrect and misleading image title. Additional deductions will apply as the overview fails to indicate the source of the measurements (in one country). When one piece of information is not presented in the summary, the reader becomes confused due to the questions that arise while reading your summary. The summary needs to be a complete short presentation, this does not do that.


Examiners are looking for non-academic, but formal presentations in a task 1 essay. Use of business related words, rather than exaggerations are more appreciated when it comes to scoring. The task 1 essay need not be emotional in representation. The emotions may be used in the task 2 essay instead.

The first sentence of your last paragraph is confusing to read due to 2 reasons: (1) Incorrect word usage, (2) incoherent idea presentation. That sentence should have been presented as 2 separate ideas rather than a run-on sentence. A run-on sentence lowers the GRA score unnecessarily as you try to combine different ideas, which do not relate even if you try to use connecting words, in the sentence. Unrelated presentations such as the shops closing and shops opening need to be presented individually as these cover different information presentations.


Why are you representing this information as current when it has already lapsed in applicability having been projected until 2018 only. The information is more than 5 years old already.

@Holt
Thank you so much for your constructive comment!