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IELTS1: The given line graph displays the number of alumni in Canada within fiveteen years 1992-2007


kane1101 1 / 1  
Feb 22, 2021   #1

number of graduates in Canada



The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

The given line graph displays the number of alumni in Canada within 15 years starting from 1992. It can be discerned that the number of female graduates was all-time higher than that of male graduates, and both figures shared an identical growth pattern.

In 1992, there were roughly 100.000 female alumni in Canada. This number steadily increased over 3 years before slowly declining by the same margin for the same amount of time. Starting in 1998, the number of female graduates experienced an upward spiral within the remaining period, reaching up to 150.000 in 2007, a roughly 50% increase compared to the original amount.

The number of male graduates at the beginning of the period was 30% lower compared to the female's. The former's growth pattern is quite similar to the latter, whereas it fluctuated for 9 years before growing stably, resulting in an increase of roughly 25.000 at the end of the period.

Please evaluate and suggest what needs improving. Thanks!



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,667 3487  
Feb 23, 2021   #2
In the trending statement, you should mention the year when the women had the highest number of graduates. The images cannot share an identical growth pattern if the women graduated at a higher rate than men at the end. When you say there is an identical growth pattern, that means the increases in the male graduates are commensurate to the female graduates. It would be better not to use 2 different trending references in these essays. Just use one as there is a possibility for confusion to be created in the presentation, such as what happened in your current writing.

You should try to write at least 175 words for this presentation. That is so that you can get a better scoring consideration for each section. Another sentence or two in the final paragraph should helped fix that problem. Rather than using the run-on presentation in the last sentence, you should have used 2 sentence presentations instead to help with the clarity of the information presentation and GRA considerations.
OP kane1101 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2021   #3
@Holt
Hi, thank you for taking your time to evaluate my writing, but I don't fully understand what you mean by "trending statement" and " 2 different trending references". Could you clarify which part of my writing you are talking about?


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