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The number of students in both genders who graduated in Canada between 1992 and 2007


ivyisstudying 1 / -  
Sep 14, 2021   #1

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - THE LINE GRAPH



Task: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

Answer:

The graph illustrates the number of students in both genders who graduated in Canada between 1992 and 2007. It is obvious that the statistics of university graduates have an upward trend in that period.

Overall, it is clearly shown in the graph that the number of female graduates is dominated the number of male graduates. However, both female and male students who completed their course to get the degree at university is increased every year.

Started in 1992, there are nearly 100,000 female students that became alumni of the university, while the number of male students who finish their study at university accounts for approximately 70,000 people.

After that, it can be seen that the number of graduates from university increased rapidly year by year. Although the trend dropped slightly from 1996 to 2000, it goes back to its previous trend in the next following years. The number of female graduates reach its peak at about 150,000 students in 2006, meanwhile the number of male is less than female around 50,000 people.

Please give me some advice for improvement in this writing. Many thank!



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,584 3758  
Sep 15, 2021   #2
The graph illustrates the number

Identify the type of graph and numerical reference for the student count. What was said or implied in the orginal must be expanded upon in a clear manner within the overview. That is because of the TA scoring considerations for this task.

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All data is from previously collated information. Use the proper past tense reference (Was). Trenal usage is a problem throughout the presentation.

The paragraphs are mostly not properly formatted. Aside from the final paragraph, the early presentations do not meet the required 3-5 sentence presentation template. The long 2 sentence presentations are run- on in format. These lower the GRA score as the long sentences do not create a proper simple and complex sentence paragraph. Please learn to properly divide the thought presentations based on proper analytical considerations to avoid the same errors going forward.

Sentence clarity is an issue in this presentation the sentence structures are weak due to improper time references and word usage. Improvements in these areas will help improve the scores in specific areas as well.
nartarus2000 2 / 2  
Sep 21, 2021   #3
"It is obvious that the statistics ..." This sentence should be placed in the overview paragraph instead of the introduction one.

In my opinion, the comparison between male and female graduates are still insufficient and unclear. You should make a more detail and clear comparison between the number of males and females graduating during the given period, instead of trying to demonstrate the increase of the total number of graduates. By this way, the relevance between them could be highlighted, which, in my viewpoint, could boost your TA score. In addition to that, each line should also be depicted more specifically so that the viewer might understand how the number of graduates from each gender change over time, particularly in the period between 1992 and 2000.
papcaii 3 / 5 1  
22 hrs ago   #4
Started Starting
is
the number/quantity of both female and male students
are were
finish finished
can could
goes went
reach reached
is was


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