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The number of graduates in Canada between 1992 and 2007


amrillahmk 29 / 47 6  
Nov 17, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the information about both men and women who graduated in Canada over 15-year period is presented in the line graph. It is measured in the number of graduates every two years. Overall, the most significant facts to emerge are that both men and women had similar patterns and the figure of women led by far than men over the period shown.

In 1992, the number of women graduates stood at just under 100,000, higher than men. Subsequently, there was an increase to roughly 105,000 graduates in 1995, which was followed by a slight fall in 1998. From 1998 to 2006, a dramatic growth is shown by female graduates, in which its figure hit a high of 148,000 people in the end of the period

On the other hand, the initial figure for men was around 70,000 graduates. Then, its pattern showed a fluctuation until 2001. From 2001, men level rose gradually to hit at 95,000 graduates in 2006, lower than women in the end of the time frame shown.




mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 17, 2016   #2
Dear amrillah, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

... facts to emerge arewere that both men and women...

... increase to roughly 105,000 women graduates in 1995, which...

From 1998 to 2006, a dramatic growth iswas shown by ...

Regards
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 18, 2016   #3
Hello Mr. Amril
These are my corrections to finalize your writing


in Canada over A 15-year period is...
... facts to emerge are that both men and women had similar patterns and ... THE PROPORTION OF GRADUATED STUDENTS IN CANADA HAD TENDED A GRADUAL INCREASE. TURNING TO DIFFERENT GENRE, THE RATE OF GRADUATIONS FOR WOMEN ALWAYS HAD BEEN MORE THAN THE MALE STUDENTS.

... of women graduates stood at just under APPROXIMATELY 100,000 GRADUATES, higher than men with THE DIFFERENT NUMBER BY AROUND 30,000 PEOPLE .

... an increase to roughly 105,000 graduates in 1995, which was followed by a slight fall in 1998.

You have to remeber that your job in the writing task 1 is to compare figures, not to describe separately. You really played safely, whereas there was a prompt supposed to compare. You cannot reach the high score if you can deal with the prompts relatively.

Please, you read many example to find the sense of wiritng task 1
Keep Writing
GOOD LUCK


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