WRITING TASK 1 Given are maps which illustrates the plan change of Islip town and its current layout

Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and makes comparisons where relevant.

Given are maps which illustrates the plan change of Islip town and its current layout.

As can be seen from the maps , the countryside area will be replaced for amenities . The town will be dramatically changed and expanded to make way for sensible traffic systems.

Currently , this town has a main road running straightly from the West to the East , which is through the two ranges of shops . There are two branches lead to the South where the school and the Park are. Residential area totally converges to the South of the town and there is a countryside far in the North from the town center .

The most noticeable change will be the change in its traffic system into a circle area for pedestrians only , which will be covered by a dual carriageway . Therefore , the countryside and a row of shops in the North will have eliminated to make space for the bus station , shopping centre and car park area to the left . The school will remain unchanged outside the ring road , however, the Park is planned to be relocated at its current address. Beside some residential areas that have already existed , there will be space for a new one to the right of the car park and another on the left of the Park .

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  this is its illustration
  

The writer does not have a good command of the English language. He often creates sentences that require better structuring to create more coherent thought presentations. For instance, the reference to plan change, what does that mean? Did the writer mean "proposed changes?" or "Redevelopment plan?" or some other vocabulary that would have made immediate reference to the changes and when these are to take place? This problem is not just a vocabulary issue, it is a GRA issue as well.

This is supposed to be an image representative report. That means, the assumption is that the reader will not be seeing the map as he reads this description. Therefore, there should not be any reference to "As seen on the map", because there is not supposed to be an available map for the reader. The writer needs to use a more descriptive opening sentence. Maybe a reference to a notable indicator in the image.

@duongne123
try harder next time

@kenzietran
Can you please give me my band score ??

you can use "in general, overall or it is obvious " to begin the overview part

@linhnpt19
Thank you !!