Unanswered [26] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


bdmqnh 7 / 16 5  
Aug 4, 2020   #1

learning the language and culture of another country by visiting it

As a part of education, students should spend a period of time living in another country to learn its language and culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to underpin the process of learning, it is suggested that students should learn the language and culture of another country by visiting it. Subjectively, though I do not deny that going overseas in exchange for linguistic and cultural gain is beneficial, I completely disagree with this idea.

There are some explanations why students travel to a foreign country in turn for culture and language. Firstly, since every country is encountering globalisation which means an increase in competitiveness, it is necessary that students possess not only academic knowledge but also life skills to gain an edge over others. As a result, when visiting another country, they will be able to widen their perspectives by being exposed to various ways of people's lives. Secondly, interacting with native speakers in their own countries is far more effective to learn a language than in other ones. This allows students to discover more unique and attractive languages, or enhance what they are learning.

However, I would present two main reasons why I am in disagreement with this idea. The first one is that students may face serious difficulties since they first go to an abroad country with inexperience. For example, those who get used to Eastern customs are likely to have cultural shock when coming to countries in the West. This, in the long term, may result in disappointment, helplessness or even depression. Besides that, because it would cost an arm and a leg to pay for expenses when studying abroad, students may severely suffer from financial burden which lowers their focus and efficiency on studying.

In conclusion, regardless of the fact that devoting a period of time to learn culture and language in foreign countries brings several advantages, I am opposed to this idea for the reasons above.

(296 words)
scottlai23 1 / 2  
Aug 4, 2020   #2
I think conclusion can make some expansion.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Aug 4, 2020   #3
Your first paragraph is highly confusing to read. For starters, there is a difference between living in a country and visiting one. Living in a country means the student will spend at least one year in the country to immerse himself in the language. Visiting a country could be as short as a weekend, and no longer than 6 months. So your term, "visiting" is incorrect. Then, your last sentence did not make any sense. When you say subjectively, the implication is that you approve of the statement. But you said you completely disagree with the idea in the end. So, which is it? You will score less for not having a clear opinion based on the question asked.

You are not being asked to explain why students might go overseas to learn a language, You are being asked to present an agreement or disagreement in relation to the idea that students should spend time abroad to learn a language. The overall essay does not meet the discussion requirements since you are not discussing a clear opinion with a supporting reasons. Your essay diverges from the original discussion topic, which creates a TA scoring problem for you.
OP bdmqnh 7 / 16 5  
Aug 4, 2020   #4
I got the point. Much appreciated ^^

Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳