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Good job requires great communication skills - The Survey


Muhammadyusuf 7 / 13  
Sep 14, 2015   #1
The table describes the proportion of people asked to answer two sorts of survey question about communication skills in world job between 1991 and 2006. Overall, in the first year, the correspondents tended to pick out external communication skill as the predominant factor in supporting an occupation. Again, it still became indispensable determinant for working over the 9 - year period.

Regarding to data, the proportion of people who selected external communication skill as the essential point in a job increased slightly by approximately 5 percent in three of several items. Meanwhile, the other figure, selling a product or service, presented a minimal drop, from 24% to 21% over during 1991 to 2006.

In terms of internal communication, all of figures experienced a growth in over the time frame. At first year, listening carefully to collegues was the highest figure at 38 percent and rose to 47 percent in 2006. In contrast, as the lowest proportion, 7% of making speeches or presentations increased to 11% over the following period.




lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 14, 2015   #2
I would like to give you some suggestions.

You should be more specific in your first paragraph. The survey asked which communication skills were essential or important for their job. Also, be very specific about the years. The years are only 1997 and 2006.

The next sentence, you should list the year 1997, instead of stating the first year. Also make skill plural: "skills". The last sentence, you should place "an" before indispensable and delete overthe9yearperiod . You should use the year 2006. Since the survey was taken in two years, you can only compare those years. There were no results for the years in between 1997-2006.

The next paragraph state: "Regarding the data..." Make the word skill plural. Change the years to 1997 and 2006.

Last paragraph: Change this part of the first sentence: "all of the figures increased over the time frame." Begin the next sentence with another word:" The first year..."
OP Muhammadyusuf 7 / 13  
Sep 14, 2015   #3
Meanwhile, the other figure, selling a product or service, presented a minimal drop, from 24% to 21% between 1997 and 2006 .
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 14, 2015   #4
I can help you with some changes.

You have corrected many of the errors. Yet, there are a few errors that still exist. Here are some suggestions:

1st paragraph: The last sentence should have these changes" an indispensable determinant for working in 2006.

2nd paragraph: You should begin the paragraph with: "Regarding the data.."

3rd paragraph: You should make these changes: "In terms of communication, all of the figures increased over the time frame..."

You should begin the next sentence with: "At "The first year..."
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Sep 15, 2015   #5
1. Write your intro with a passive form.

2. If you could, then try not to include this part "in the first year," in the overview.

3. Instead of using "regarding...", "As per" presents formal tone

4. 7% of making speeches or presentations increased to 11% CHANGES INTO "the proportion of people who make speeches or presentation increased ..."

5. listening carefully to collegues CHANGES INTO people who more likely to listencarefully to collegues

hope this helps, eddy suaib


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