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Should the Government or Family Pay for retirement medical cares.

HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Jan 21, 2018   #1
In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care.

Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.(250 words)

financing long-term care for older people

The elders are believed to live in a residential home where they could have efficiency medical cares. From my point of view, the Government should only pay for this care to help old people who are in urgent need. The other elders in Britain had better live with their family and let them pay for the medical cares.

The old people need to be taken care of by their family rather than nurses in the residential houses. Therefore the family should have been in charge of the payment. It will help reduce the percentage of the lonely old people in Britain. Although the Government's policy on residential homes is quite good, it is increasing the lack of care and concern for their parents or grandparents, from young people. More than five million old people in Britain whose main friend is television which should be their child or grandchild, according to the research from telegraph website.

The investment in the residential care should only for the old who are in urgent needs such as homeless old people or old people without children or relative to take care of them. Being this way, the Government could cut off cost for welfare and build a quantity residential homes rather than create a lot of unqualify ones which increase the low standard and mistreatment in care homes. This research is also indicated on Telegraph website.

In conclusion, it depends on the situation that should the Government or the family pay for the cares. But I strongly recommend that the family should be the main one who gives the care of their old people in the family. That is the indirect way to teach the kids how to take care and respect the old people.

Please help me with the grammar and the words used
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,210 3650  
Jan 23, 2018   #2
Han, you have a problem when it comes to noun usage. You keep capitalizing the word government in the essay when it is not meant to be capitalized. That is, unless the word is used at the beginning of a sentence. In this case however, you keep using it mid-sentence, which means it is not to be written with a capital letter. It does not indicate a proper noun, person, place, or thing. The government is an idealistic entity and as such, is simply a normal word. It does not exist in a formal form as defined by the noun usage rules. This mistake will have a strong effect on your final GRA score.

You must also use a thesaurus to vary your word usage. You keep using the term elderly and elders in the essay which, at times, can be politically incorrect to use. Some other terms you could have used are "senior citizens" , advanced age people, aging, and retired, among some other terms that you could have used to vary up the presentation of your essay. Using varied descriptions for the same word can help to increase your lexical score.

Do not use connecting words such as "but" and "because" to start your sentences. As the description of the word implies, it is used to connect 2 thoughts in one sentence. Since that is not the method by which you are using the word, you are showing a lack of sentence development rules knowledge. Thus further decreasing your GRA score.
PeterBrown 16 / 25 6  
Jan 30, 2018   #3
The following are some of your grammar mistakes:
1) ... had better live life? ...
2) Therefore, the ...
3) ... homes is quite good I would avoid using words such as good, bad, or a lot of whenever possible. You could use the word "solid" in this case

You should also try to vary your vocabulary a bit more. For example, you can replace take care of with look after.

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