IELTS task 2: Government give most support to Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics

Government funds science subjects more than others

Question: Government should invest on teaching science subjects rather than other subject for country develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or not agree

Answer:
In the thriving development of society in 21st century, education remaining one of the main sectors having the need to acquire new idea for catching up with modern ways. Therefore, some has raised an idea that government funding should focus mainly on natural subjects than to the social counterpart if nation wishes to advance. Personally, I think although science subjects are crucial for country improvement, other social subjects also has its own value by which should not be underestimated.

On the one hand, invest primary into science lessons are useful in accumulating extra knowledge, both general and specialty in every nature objects surrounding us. In other words, because of science and it's properties are the building-block of our world, digging it deeper also mean that we are gaining further insight about the way everything work. And with the lack of this knowledge, it would lead to countless misconceptions and consequences. For instance, "antivaxs", who believe in natural therapies rather than official vaccination, is a direct result of the missing of general comprehension and by that, being the main causes for disappeared plagues to re-emerge.

Furthermore, raising the supply of money for natural courses allows government to recruit more scientists. It is clear that as the improvement for science subjects increasing gradually as the flow of money coming in, the proportion of students taking interest in natural subjects will also rise steadily. Consequently, this will boost the output of scientists and therefore, contribute significantly to nation growth

On the other hand, social subjects, while not directly boost the country progressing, impact passively on the work of society. Playing a key role in the development of human, social subjects were the guideline to shape personality and characteristic of people. Also, it is noticeable that if science are the fundamental of nature, social are the basic of all human organization, from small group to worldwide. As a result, studying social subjects was undeniable, keep the society and individuals running it perform without malfunction.

In conclusion, investing in science subjects alone would be a leap into more developing countries but nevertheless, social subjects also the important factor of building people and society as well

@khoahre123
Hello there. Welcome to the forum. I'll provide you with writing feedback.

Firstly, I recommend making concise your sentences. Try to evade the usage of excessive words and descriptors when you're writing. While it's necessary to creatively depict your opinions, it would be better if you can curate more specific pictures of what you ought to mention. For instance, take a look at your first paragraph. You had packed it with excessive language, making the essay appear too hasty.

Try to also be more cautious of your grammatical composition. Try to ensure that you're abiding by the fundamentals of writing - doing so will allow you to have a more academic tone. Remember that consistency is key.

Best of luck.

@Maria
Thank you for your suggestions, I will try my best to fix them