Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS, Should government pay for looking after old aged people



banjo 4 / 8  
Mar 7, 2013   #1
Q: In India when someone gets old they often go to live in a a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this case, the government or family?

Give reasons for you anser and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Answer:

In today's fast paced world, looking after old age people has become a matter of very serious concern. Government in many states run old age homes where the old age people are taken care of and the government itself pays for this. Many people argue that this is the right thing to do, while some contend that it is the responsibility of the young to look after their parents when they get old. Both sides of the argument will be critiqued before a well reasoned conclusion is drawn.

It is believed by a section of the society that their parents; when they get old , should be looked after by the government. An idea that supports this is the fact that a minority of India's population is below the poverty line and they lack the financial capacity to look after their old aged parents. It can be argued that this trend may continue due to the economic crisis that the country is going through at the moment where the day-to-day life is getting very expensive. Thus, the argument that the responsibility of the old aged people should be taken by the government is difficult to debunk.

On the contrary, many people believe that it is the duty of the family to take care of old aged people. For example, people who are rich can employ a home nurse for this purpose. Moreover, the moral values upholded by Indian culture insist that the parents should be protected by their children when they get old. Thus, the additional financial burden on the government would naturally decrease. After analyzing the fact, it is clear that why many people support this claim.

To sum up, after analyzing both the points of view, as the majority of the Indian population are rich and they pay lot of importance to moral values the argument that old age people should be taken care of by the government cannot be supported at all. Moreover, in future, the children should be taught that its their duty to take care of their parents when they get old.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 7, 2013   #2
In today's fast paced world, looking after old age people has become a matter of very serious concern.

... good start :)

Governments in many states runold ageprovides facilities and financial assistance to run homes for the elders where the old age people are taken care of and the government itself pays for this .

.... latter part disturbs your flow.

Both sides of the argument will be critiqued before a well reasoned conclusion is drawn.

.... In my personal view, it is more interesting when you use direct speech in this type of essays, rather than using passive voice.
For example;

It is believed by a section of the society that their parents; when they get old , should be looked after by the government.

Some people believe that it is the government's responsibility to look after their elderly parents.
You should give some candid examples for your reasoning to convince the reader. In this task, it is expected and you'd earn marks for your specific examples. :)

One more point; Since this case is specific to India as you say on the top of your essay, you can touch on the cultural aspect as well :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS, Should government pay for looking after old aged people
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳