Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


IELTS:Should the government spend money on poor population or hi-tech research?



veronicafy 2 / 4  
May 4, 2013   #1
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about the government investment. However, whether should the money be spent on developing the hi-tech research or pulling people out of poverty is a controversial issue.I, personally, believe that it is more sensible and practical to invest money on needy population.

To begin with, it is well known that the hi-tech researches have been improved at a certain height, and it is not easily to achieve a breakthrough in a short period of time. Besides, hi-tech researches are both time-consuming and expensive, especially for those developing countries, which can result in a heavy burden. Moreover, no matter how advanced a nation's science and technology is, it does not worth all the money and efforts in doing so ,if people are living in poverty and still suffering from hunger. People in such countries definitely will not appreciate or understand how terrific the newest inventions and discoveries are.

A second point is that considering the long-term interests ,it makes more sense to invest poor population. A nation is governed by its people, and it needs their contribution. If the money can be spent on ensuring education and improving people's living standard, the reward a country is likely to get is priceless. When children in poor areas get opportunity to be educated, more talents and scientists are apt to be discovered and used ,which in turn accelerate its science research; when people have enough money to sustain their lives, the whole nation can develop and move forward in a safer and much more harmonious environment; both can bring the nation immeasurable benefits.

Nevertheless, that is not to say that hi-tech research is not vital for a country. Instead ,it is scientific and technological development the driving force behind the advancement of a nation. But, satisfying public's basic need seems to be a more urgent problem.

In sum, a country can be enormously enhanced by helping the needy. Meanwhile, I believe hi-tech could be developed with more high-qualified talents discovered from the poor after being educated.

================================================================= ====================
Any suggestions are welcome and THX for correcting errors.
Best regards!

hahong 6 / 11  
May 4, 2013   #2
whether should the money be spent on developing the hi-tech research

---> whether public money should be spent on developing hi-tech research...

hi-tech researches have been improved at a certain height , and it is not easily to achieve a breakthrough in a short period of time

----> Though hi-tech researches have been improved to a certain degree , it is not easy to achieve a breakthrough in a short period of time

satisfying public's basic need

----> needs

with more high-qualified talents discovered

----> being discovered
OP veronicafy 2 / 4  
May 5, 2013   #3
THX for your careful modification, I didn't find these errors even I have reviewed this passage for three times.

BUT,why use "though" in this sentence:Though hi-tech researches have been improved to a certain degree, it is not easy to achieve a breakthrough in a short period of time

I think "Since" would be more appropriate.What about you?

Anyway THX for your help, I really aprreciate it.
Godiva 3 / 4  
May 5, 2013   #4
I think you could make the begining of eassy better. Something like " whether should the money be spent on developing the hi-tech research or pulling people out of poverty is a controversial issue" is typical Chinese style writing and is seems like less professional.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS:Should the government spend money on poor population or hi-tech research?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳