IELTS WRITING TASK 2: the governments should avoid wasting money on funding arts

FUND THE ARTS?

There are various opinions stating that the government's investments in arts wouldn't pay dividends. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view and the following passage would explain the reasons for this.

It is understandable why nowadays some people still advocate the development of arts. They might argue that arts provoke creativity and inventiveness, especially in toddlers or infants, and would pay dividends to their development. However, given the scenario of a sophisticating and modern world being formed, having intelligent and logical minds would be of greater favor. This is as facilities would be of state-of-the-art qualities and gadgets would get even more sophisticated and cutting-edge in the future, the operation of them could require greater knowledge and pragmatism rather than creativity should be given priority in terms of employment.

Furthermore, there are numerous aspects that would be beneficial and have a greater contribution to the well-being of a country than arts. For example, Vietnam was once an under-developing country but their shift of focus towards technological periodization and industrialization had been contributing greatly to the wealth of the South East Asian country. Botswana is also an exemplar in view of its policies to develop education and science rather than arts. As a result, the African country now possesses one of the fastest-growing economies in the world and is well respected by both regional and international neighbors.

To sum up, instead of funding arts, the government should invest more in other industries in order to not waste their money.

Presenting your 2 reasons in support of your opinion will serve as a score boost in the preliminary scoring stage. Do not waste the opportunity by simply presenting an empty thesis statement. Your logic and topic understanding in that sentence can help you get a higher overall score. Make sure every sentence used will move the essay forward with an intelligent discussion each time.

Good job in refuting a positive perception in the second paragraph. You have shown a strong skill when it comes to presenting a cohesive and coherent discussion. This followed through in the next paragraph. However, the 3rd paragraph would have scored better with a fully developed Vietnam based discussion. The Botswana discussion was weak and hindered the discussion progress.

For a better summary conclusion score, please use at least 40 words next time.