Some people think that governments should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is reckoned that more attention should be paid on investment in public services rather than in Arts. In my opinion, I do agree with it, in which most government investments should be spent on public services, but arts cannot be neglected by government entirely. This is because the arts can entertain most people in many ways.
For some people, arts cannot be separated in human lives. People need the arts in order to get entertained while they are mired in low spirits or feel bored with daily activities. For example, several people go to music concert or attend painting exhibition with expectation these activities could be a consolation in the middle of their sorrow or busy lives. But, at the same time, people are not prepared when they have to pay high fares to attend some shows. That is the primary reason why some of government investments should continue in the arts, otherwise the arts may have to close and people will not get the entertainment they need. In addition, arts can also keep our history and culture alive for future generation.
With regards to public services, I would argue most government budget should be spent on these ones. This is because public services serve human basic needs, such as health and education. For instance, investment in building some new hospitals or healthcare facilities as well as in schools which can be afforded by the needy would lead to the improvement in public health and education on the whole. As such, people will not be worried about their health and future education because government has already covered their basic needs.
It is obvious that when it comes to government's outlay in arts and public services, both of which should be covered even though the priority is in public services. However, I believe spending money on arts is not a waste and should continue. A balance is required for maximizing people's happiness.
HI Miftah, below are my thoughts on your essay with the focus on correcting your sentence construction.
- be paid on investmentinvesting in public services
- In my opinion,- this phrase is not necessary
- be entirely neglected by the government entirely .
- This is because the arts can entertain most people in many ways.
- .. arts cannot be separated into human lives.
- People need the arts in order to get entertained while
- with the expectation that these activities
- But, at the same timeHowever , people are not
- prepared when they have to pay high faresexpensive tickets to attend some shows.
- ThatThis is the primary reason
- why some of government investments should continue investing in the arts,
There you have it Miftah, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and should you need further assistance, do let us know so we can help you further.
@justivy03
Justivy, Thank you for your insightful feedback! Yes, i think I need your further assistance because i am going to take an IELTS test on November 19. I will, at least write one writing - or two if i have much time- each day and any feedback, especially from contributor, on my writing will be much appreciated. In addition, I have always wanted to improve my writing, alas I do not have any tutor, so it would be nice if you could help me improving my writing skills. Thank you in advance
Hellooo!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.
... in which most of government investments ...
... not get the entertainment which they need...
... as well as in schools which can be afforded by ...
Pay attention to the conjuction,
Hope it helps you :)
