Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international

investing in successful sportsmen, promising for future

Some governments spend a lot of public money training individuals to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many countries expend a tranche of their national budgets on training athletes to become strong nominees to win in different worldwide sports competitions. In my opinion, the benefits of these investments are eclipsed by the drawbacks in the sense that there are several priorities which this money should be spent on.

Initially, winning international competitions does not reflect directly on the tax-payers who are supposedly paying these taxes for the improvement of health care and education. Squandering money on such an insignificant investment can be an unrealistic choice. For example, a country like Cameroon has many high-tier athletes in individual sports such as running nevertheless, their conditions are not improved due to this fact and it reflects insignificantly on their people.

Obviously, health care and education quality which has a tremendous effect on people should be prioritized by the government. This will lead to better general public health and a highly educated generation that can contribute immensely to the development of the country and be in the core interests of their own people.

Admittedly, investing in successful athletes can provide role models for the people to follow, however, this reason can not be enough to dedicate some of the public money to it.

In conclusion, while many consider investing in successful sportsmen to be prudent, I believe that its advantages are overshadowed by the disadvantages. Having weighed the pros and cons, I am convinced that the public money should be spent on fields that directly affect the people and the quality of their lives such as health care and education.

last sentence of the second paragraph: for example,...running nevertheless,....
-I would suggest to add a semicolon before nevertheless, or to stop the sentence with a period.

You used a comparative essay response for this essay. You based your response on the advantage/disadvantage discussion presentation. That is a clear deviation from the original discussion prompt. The original discussion is asking you to present a measured response based upon the degree of your agreement or disagreement/ support or non-support of the given topic. Therefore, the essay failed to follow the required discussion format, resulting in a failed TA score on your part. Your discussion response does not deliver the correct / expected response presentation. So you cannot expect to receive a passing score for this essay. You clearly did not understand the discussion instruction. You did not represent the proper response format in the final section of the prompt restatement. The total approach you took to the discussion is incorrect. You may review the other extent essay samples here to better understand how you can approach this discussion and what other response formats are acceptable for this type of discussion.

@Holt I understand, I think the main issue that contributed to convey this impression is the thesis, right ?? but I can rely on ponting to advantages and disadvantages of different topics as a reason for my stance in the essay.. am i understanding this right .. I will make sure to pay more attention to the task rubric ... Thank you so much for the feedback