UK graduate and post-graduate students in four different destinations after leaving college

Would you please give feedback on my writing? Thank you so much!

Destination of graduates and postgraduates in UK

The bar chart indicates the number of UK graduate and post-graduate students in four different destinations after leaving college in 2008.

we can see that the most of graduates and postgraduates in the UK decided to study further in 2008. Besides, voluntary work was not the common choice of those who finished college.

Almost 30,000 graduate students kept studying more after they graduated by the year 2008. The number of students having part-time jobs was nearly equal to the quantity of those who were unemployed, at 17,735 and 16,235 students respectively, while volunteers were just 3500 students after college.

On the other hand, the majority of postgraduates took part-time works (2,535 students) and further education (2,725 students) in 2008, which are the highest figures shown on the second chart. Similar to graduate students, only 345 UK postgraduate students did voluntary work, whereas unemployed students were much higher with 1625 students.

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Incorrect phrase usage. You are unfamiliar with the definition of a destination. A destinatiion is defined as the place to which a person or thing travels or is sent. In this case, the graduates are not sent to any of the 4 areas. Rather, these are occupations or work oppotunities that they seek out upon graduation or leaving school. Correct word usage is important for 2 things:

- It shows your proper knowledge of English vocabulary
- It lessens the changes of LR deductions in that scoring section. This section is concerned with correct word usage, based on the definition of the word


The first letter of the first word must be capitalized as per English grammar writing rules. That is because it signifies the start of a sentence or thought presentation.

@Holt Thank you so much!